Can my elderly mom throw me out when she invited me to move in in the first place?

Of course she can throw you out. It’s her house. But she has to do it legally which means she has to go through the eviction process. Let me ask you this though—why do you want to stay and subjected to her abuse? I realize she has dementia but you aren’t her human punching bag.

Please get yourself out of there as soon as possible. Start today, now. Tonight. Go on public assistance, do everything possible to get out of this situation. The longer you stay the more it will erode your very spirit.
Save yourself and don't look back.
Hugs and good luck and you deserve a better life!!

I read in another comment you were going to apply for Section 8 housing......great idea! I'm sorry you're being put thru all of this, I really am. There is NO logic to dementia. No arguing with it, no fixing it, nothing. You can get on mom's good side for a moment and then she'll forget all about it and wham, be back on you like white on rice. No matter how much you do, it likely won't be enough or it won't be done properly. The arguing is incredible....I've never seen anything like it.

The only answer is to get OUT of there asap, like Rbuser1 said. Keep looking for a fulltime job and don't give up hope. It took me for-freaking-ever to find my current job and it came along when I least expected it.

Wishing you good luck and Godspeed on the next leg of your journey, my friend.

There are ALWAYS two or more sides to every question asked on this forum. Some long-time members of this forum do try to push the OP to look at their own needs, desires, culpabilities, and responsibilities in whatever situation they are asking about. I think that is a good thing and not done to make the OP feel bad; but, rather, to try to help the OP look outside the narrow emotional response that prompted the question in the first place.

I've said it before...
"These are very difficult topics with many possible solutions, which is why this message board even exists. We are all just trying to give advice based on our own experiences. You don't have to take the advice, and you can even disagree with it, but know that we are all just trying to help."

An apology need not be an acknowledgement of wrong doing. Sometimes it's just a statement or acknowledgement of regret for another's pain or upset.

I'm sorry you're not feeling well this morning Mom, but you still need to eat a little something.

I'm sorry your knee is sore this afternoon, maybe it will feel better after you keep it up and the swelling in your lower legs goes down.

I'm sorry you're out of sorts today.

We can be truly sorry someone is upset or in pain without in any way being "wrong" or responsible. I consider these statements an acknowledgement of another's emotional state and an attempt to comfort. As I told the kids long ago, you should always be able to sincerely state you are sorry/regret someone you care about is having a hard time whatever reasons created their difficulty. I find these acknowledgements helpful when dealing with people in physical or emotional pain or suffering dementia.

Unfortunately for you, yes, she can, of coarse that doesn't mean that she will, it may just a way of manipulating you to get you to do what she wants, when she wants it done.

Anyway, my father always said "Finding a job, is a full time job", perhaps you need to put more effort into finding a full time job. Eventually you will most likely have to move anyway, so why not make a plan to get back on your feet.

Good Luck!

If we wanted to hear snarky comments we would go visit our mothers!!!

yes she can , she invited you there ,,she has the right to ask you to leave . Why stay where you are not wanted and treated poorly ... I would move ..i wish you well and hope everything turns out ok,..life is to short to be treated poorly

I think applying with Section 8 is a great idea. I know you are worry about the waiting list but don't! You will be surprise about how fast it can move. I have found (through a friend who use to be responsible for a waiting list for Section 8) that some of the people on the list are living somewhere else and don't need Section 8, but never took their name off the list. Others move out-of-state to live with a friend or family member again didn't take their name off the list.

However, I have the feeling that your mother isn't going to kick you out and she says things like that as a "power play" that is what my mother was doing. "You have to do this or I will kick you out!" "You know, if it wasn't for me you would have no where to live." "This is my house and so you have to do xyz or I'll kick you out." See where I am going with this? These are a few things my mother use to say to me then one day, I just told her "I am moving out!" My mother's tune change real quick. The truth of the matter was she just wanted someone to bully and really didn't want to live alone in this big old house! So, when I told her I was moving out it deflated her sails...she stop!

You have done nothing wrong. Keep looking for a full-time job. Put your name on as many of the Section list as you can, plus some landlords take Section 8 for their apartments so look into them as well!

Some people really don't get just how hard it is in today's world then add that your own mother wants to hurt you can be enough to drive you insane!

Just hang in there "this to shall pass."

Hugs!!!

Thank you lealonnie for coming to my defense. I know a lot of people have different opions. Different opinions are fine. I just don’t think people should be calling any of the OPs PRICKLY or SPOILED BRATS!!! I think some of those people could be sensitive to the name calling on here. Thank you again lealonnie.