We are trying to clean out my mothers house. Personalities are clashing and there are hard feelings because my brother is trying to purchase my mother's house on contract until she passes or a year, whatever comes first. Mainly because so many things need done before he can move in. They think they have say on price but we are going by what a realtor thinks it's worth. My mother is involved but it's hard because her facility is closed to visitors most of the time because of covid. She is also very hard of hearing and trying to communicate over the phone is impossible. One sister won't communicate with me except for negative responses even when a reply is needed. I don't want to be involved with my sisters. I have blocked their phones. Can I send them a letter telling them all correspondence should be by mail to me along with any bills or monies collected on moms possessions? My brother and I are on her checking account but I mostly write checks and make deposits. I am also contact person for care facility and send out text to siblings and grandchildren and send out text on things regarding mom. Am I legally responsible to tell them especially since I blocked their numbers?

Thank you

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Are you POAs equally or one Main POA and the other secondary if for some reason main one can't handle the duties anymore. If secondary, you really have no say at this point.

Like said, as POA you are not obligated to reveal anything. If Mom is competent, then your POAs are really not in effect, per se. Mom is still in control. You are just her representatives and she is allowing you to handle things for her. She is still competent in telling you what she wants. If the house is sold, she can still sign the papers. She is able to tell everyone what she wants.

What ever contract brother wants it better be drawn up by a lawyer. Also, the house needs to sell at Market Value if Mom needs Medicaid within the next 5 years. I would get an appraiser in there to value the home. He will look at everything that a realtor doesn't. Remember, Realtors are working on commission. They also will over price a house. An appraiser will give a more accurate value. You keep that appraisal if Medicaid is needed.

I would consider getting Mom a Captel phone. That way she can read what you are saying. The phones are usually free, u just pay for the service.
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A POA is not legally responsible to ANYONE but the person they serve and the courts if there is a suit. Your mother chose you; you act for her in her best interest and keeping meticulous records of everything in case the pesky sisters file some sort of suit against you. A POA does not have to share information, and in fact they should not share private information the person appointing them would not want shared.
Yes, you can tell your sisters you will not communicate with them any other way but in writing. Keep all communications going both ways.
Your sister's rights are as follow: They can, with evidence, open a case with APS if they suspect financial abuse. The POAs will then communicate with APS. They can also go to a lawyer, but even that lawyer can do nothing for file for guardianship. Something they are not likely to win against duly appointed POAs working in the best interests of the elder.
Again, given you have troublesome sisters, keep meticulous records. Consider diaries of all calls, and keeping all communications. Diaries kept in ink in composition book without erasers or tear outs are considered evidence in most courts.
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BarbBrooklyn is correct: many many elders need Medicaid, even ones who were diligent in saving. People are living so long and the cost of care is so great. My suggestion is to be as diplomatic as possible with your siblings. Her PoAs are supposed to be working in HER best interests. When I was managing my MIL's affairs I sent out daily group emails to her sons and just outlined FACTS of what transactions or medical appointments/decisions took place and for what reason. I indicated if any action was required by them and when. Speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace sort of thing. This way I had a "paper trail" should anything go off the rails. They could never come back at any point and say "I never knew _____". I never put opinion or unnecessary commentary in the emails. If I needed help with something, I asked for the help and made suggestions on how others could help. They were very appreciative of this, especially when they realized they were getting emails every day and saw how much work I was doing.

Transparency helps reduce "suspicions". Your mom doesn't need the headache (and heart ache!) of bickering children. Be a peacemaker. If you invest in a consult with an elder law attorney/estate planner who is familiar with Medicaid in your mom's state, you can present this info to your brother and he will have to back off. Your family must be extremely careful not to manage your mother's financial affairs so that it appears "gifting" has taken place -- this can also delay or disqualify her from Medicaid at a time when she might desperately need it. This would be a disaster. Please read other posts on this forum about what happens when your LO doesn't qualify. Your brother can't argue with the law.

Are you legally obliged to give out information if they are not joint PoAs? I don't know but I do know it will decrease tensions. She is their mom, too. How would you feel if the positions were reversed? Most importantly it will be more helpful for your MOM.
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You are under no obligation to share personal information about your mother with your non-POA siblings. Who is primary POA - you or your brother?

Who is the executor of your mother's will? You or your brother? There can only be one executor.

Only POAs have say on price. Your mother chose you and your brother to handle her affairs. She did so for a reason. Respect your mother's wishes. Her home should be sold to your brother or to anyone for fair market value.

Who is paying the real estate taxes on the house?
Who is paying to maintain the house and property?
Is the house vacant and insured accordingly?
Are there liens on the house?

As POAs, both of you have the obligation to ensure that her assets are protected. Allowing the house to fall into disrepair is not good.
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JoAnn29 Jan 2021
At one time, my Brother and I were both Executors of parents Wills. After Dad passed, Mom made a new Will with me as Executor because I lived near not because only one Executor was allowed.
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I hope you have a qualified eldercare attorney involved.

Selling mom's house at less than Fair Market Value will result in penalties down the road if mom ever needs Medicaid.
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