He's swelling and having difficulty breathing. He refused.

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VAgirlconcerned, how long has your Dad been having difficulty in breathing? That, along with the swelling, can be very serious. As GardenArtist mentioned above, call 911 and let the experts convince your Dad that he needs to be seen by a doctor immediately. If not for him, for you.

I remember when my sig other didn't want to go with the EMT's to the ER, so the medics took an EKG of the heart, and did a theraputic fib by saying they saw something on the EKG that may indicate a problem. As soon as sig other heard it could be his heart, he was heading out to the ambulance as quickly as he could.
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What's swelling? His legs, feet, or some other portion of his body? Has he had CHF in the past? Is he on oxygen?

Realistically, you can't force him, so you have to try other avenues. I'm not sure if VA stands for Virginia or Veterans Administration, but if the latter, and if you're handling his medical appointments at the VA, you might tell him that the VA needs to see him urgently.

However, it sounds like his condition is close to critical, with edema and respiratory difficulty. What you might be better off doing right now, as in immediately, is calling EMS, as I think your father needs a hospital visit and intermediate intervention.

On the other hand, and I don't wish to seem callous, but if he has complex medical conditions, doesn't want to be treated, and is prepared for the worst and doesn't want to live, you need to respect that, as it is his life.

But do try to get EMS; they might be able to convince him easier since they're medical pros. I've seen that parents often listen to authorities and medical personnel before listening to their family.

Good luck, and let us know what happens if you call EMS.
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