I would love to have my Love at home instead of at a Care facility. First, because I would miss him terribly. Second, because they will eat us alive and I will struggle with my own life. I am being honest here guys...I am 17 years younger than my Partner. Everything we have we worked so hard for. Now, because of the hard work and saving we will be forced to pay every penny of his care outside of home. These facilities would eat up everything we have in no time at all. Can I just hire help and keep him at home?

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Keep him home and hire in some help, because that will make it possible to keep him home longer. Save your strength.
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My MIL kept her husband home way too long. They were both 79. He would try to get out of the house. He would try to get the car keys. And she had to call the police 3 times - which was humiliating for her.

Bowel incontinence was a 24 hour a day problem.

He would have been so much better of in a NH. She tried a day care facility, but all they did was let him drink coffee constantly. He had no idea that he had already drank some.

Seeing him become fearful, when he had been a strong long time farmer, was awful. He couldn't recognize her and was scared.

I don't know what the answer is.
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First, call an elder law attorney tomorrow for an appointment. Make a list of questions you want to be sure to get answers to. ##how can I best structure our finances to conserve our joint assets in compliance with Medicaid? How can I put together a contract for my husband to pay me for caregiving expenses our of his portion? What else can I do to preserve assets for myself? How much will all these tips cost and when can we start?

As to taking care of him at home, it can work out just wonderfully . . . Until it doesn't anymore. It can be beautiful, frustrating, tiring, sad, impossible and many more things. Get your financial life in order asap. You'll feel so much better after you have answers.
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Yes you can hire help and keep hubby at home.... my boss did that for his wife who had Alzheimer's for 15 years, the last 5 years having day time paid caregivers weekdays, and another Caregiver on weekends during the day.

My boss would take the night shift caring for his wife... so many nights were interrupted with him needing to change the sheets because her Depends just weren't doing the job... and that also meant he had to give his wife a shower. He would come to work having maybe 3 hours of sleep. So you might want to consider hiring a night Caregiver so that you can get a good night sleep and you care for hubby during the day, if possible.

There are different stages of Alzheimer's so read up and see if you would be able to handle each stage. This website has excellent articles about the stages if you aren't familiar. Go to the blue bar near the top of the page... click on SENIOR LIVING... now click on ALZHEIMER'S CARE and scroll down to the articles.
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