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My husband talks endlessly - I swear he talked for 16 hours yesterday with hardly any break. Not only that but when he gets on a subject, he goes on and on and on. I left the house all day today so I could escape the endless one sided conversation. You can not redirect. I tell him to please stop several times, then "stop" then "shut up". "Shut up" makes him mad and he leaves but comes back 2 minutes later and continues as if nothing has happened. He's nowhere near incompetent, though some of his decisions lately leave a lot to be desired. He absolutely will not be evaluated. I am beyond done and am either in tears or on the verge of hysterical laughter. Has anyone experienced this?

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I went to my support group asking the same question. The terminology they gave it was "chattering". I believe that just about sums it up. If I say anything to my Mom about it she gets all huffy and says " I'm praying, so what? I cant do that now?" Her mind is in constant denial and she comes up with outlandish reasons for everything she does. I had to laugh. Praying... that's a good one. :)
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You didn't state his age so....some possibilities. Dementia, bipolar, or loneliness.

I can imagine how this could be annoying
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Imho, it is possible that if he's been used to long durations of being by himself, that he then will talk incessantly. Or it MAY be possible that some medications that he is taking manifest into this.
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Dementia and nonstop talking? Who knows?

Bipolar? Yes, an old neighbor of mine struggled with manic episodes. She talked constantly!

Loneliness also causes people to talk more at times.

Some people are just more talkative than others.

We had to listen to it back in the day when people would become a ‘Chatty Kathy.’

Now people stick an earbud in their ear and play music on their smartphones!

My husband’s grandfather used to take his hearing aids out when his wife would talk too much.
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I am not sure if it's dementia just because someone talks nonstop, but that does worry me. Because my mom has really been talkative as long as I've known her (all my life). Someone mentioned counting the seconds between words. I used to do that with a friend when she would drive us around talking about stuff on the way. Well, mom doesn't drive anymore. She was given a diagnosis of alzhimers dementia maybe 3 years ago before she came to live with me. She talks from the time she is awake in the morning to the time she rests and gets a nap, again from the time she is awake until night time. She talks through movies when we try to watch, but it reminds her of a personal experience so she shares that, and then more ideas. She even talks while she's eating which I consider an unusual talent that is best left to the experts. I have already explained to my family that the day she becomes quieter and we don't hear her so much is going to be the day something is wrong with grandma. I am kind of used to her chatter, since I grew up with her liking to talk a lot. It does get very annoying sometimes. But it also clues me in to what's going on with her, what's bothering her and sometimes I can even try to change her perspective on something that is worrying her. I hate myself if I ever snap at her, but I know I have done that from time to time. The rest of the family: husband, son, and daughters kind of scoot away and avoid her. I know that makes her sad because she feels that they don't love her. I told her that the fact they aren't used to her is more the problem. Anyway, I don't know if the talk will get worse or like some have mentioned become scarce. I just know I will miss her when she does leave for all the ups and downs we have had she is still my mom and a big part of who I am. I hope things get better with your husband.
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My mother did not have dementia. She lived alone and when she would get in the car with me, she talked non-stop. I survived by timing her silences. I would sneakly (I can't spell suroptiscially, suroptusaly,) look at my watch and time her silences. One time she went 45 seconds before she started talking again. Most of the time she didn't require a response.
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disgustedtoo Mar 2021
surreptitiously?

The living alone probably triggered all the talking... I probably have a tendency to prattle on, because it gets tiresome at home carrying on both sides of the conversation with cats! If they'd just chat with me... :-D

Of course I prefer talking when not home IF the other person talks with me! So I would like a response. I do enough both-sided talking already!
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I have been surprised at how many people in my life are non-stop talkers. My mother, 88 years old, who has dementia, doesn't talk very much at all now, but used to talk like it was an Olympic event she had to win. My husband's aunt was a prolific talker, but no dementia. I thought I was going to lose my mind one time when she was visiting and we took her on an all day drive up into the mountains. She didn't shut up for more than 30 minutes total all day long. I have a friend whom I love dearly, but she just rambles on and on. I had a sister who did the same thing for several years before she passed away. I have a sister who has MS and is a rageholic/alcoholic who either screams and rages on the phone or in your face with false accusations (has been beat up by numerous people just wanting her to shut up) or goes over & over about the same old crap she claims happened to her. NOW, my husband is becoming very forgetful, but for years has dominated conversations. He constantly interrupts because he can't stand for anyone else to be talking but him.
This just seems to be how some people are normally. One thing I have found to be helpful with the people who do NOT have dementia: Do the same thing back for about five minutes. Don't let them talk, just keep going and don't let them interrupt. It's amazing how fast the motor mouth will tire of the conversation and have to go. It's hard me to make myself talk like that, but SO worth it. Incessant chatter is mind-numbing
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Absolutely. He’s unable to remember that he’s been talking about the subject, or that you asked him to stop.
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100% yes. Endless chatter or “banter” or “babble” as my family calls it can definitely be dementia related. Telling or asking him to stop probably won’t do much good, because he’s more than likely not even aware he’s doing it. My best suggestion is to get a friend, neighbor or loved one to take him for awhile. Even if just for a car ride, it gives you a much needed mental break.
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I would seek medical advice as a first. Second, I would interact with him for a while and then excuse yourself and just start doing things you need to do or want to do - don't answer back. Just do your things. If he wants to keep talking, just let him and try hard to ignore it. I think dementia is starting and there is no fixing that. Nothing says you have to sit and listen and talk back. Just go do your thing.
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My mom was always a big talker—always on the phone, always dominating the conversation. I’d figured out that I could get off the phone with her in half an hour if I didn’t contribute to the conversation (stuck for hours if I did!) and she never noticed that I wasn’t talking. Her friends would tell me that they would put down the phone and come back later when she got onto certain subjects.
It seemed like this got worse and that might have been the first indication of her cognitive decline. Like your husband, she was functioning the way she usually did, but it seemed like she just couldn’t stop talking, and the topics were jumbled. Over time it had become a word salad.
On the other hand, my now-ex-husband was doing this in his late thirties-early forties. I couldn’t watch TV with him because he would talk through the entire show. Eventually he moved on to narrating me to me (ex: I was putting away groceries and he was describing what he saw me put away.) So I guess it could be dementia or it could be a new personality quirk, but it would be best to get some neurological testing for him.
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We are dealing with my mother in law now. We all help with her to give breaks for each other. Don’t know what we do with out help. Never stops
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My Mom has always been a talker. So many phone conversations long ago were her talking and me listening. Now that she has dementia, that hasn't changed. What has changed are the stories, mostly rambling about nothing. She talks about going places with her brothers (she only has sisters), events that didn't quite happen as she describes, etc. When I visit, I let her talk, there will be a day when she is silent.

My Dad will read the newspaper or the Reader's Digest to her and she will listen intently. That seems to work for them.
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This may sound weird but does he like to sing? Apparently a different part of the brain is used for music and singing. My Mom, now in final stages of dementia and much quieter, had prattled endlessly. I put on some Glenn Miller music and she began to sing (helps to find music you like too) and it would redirect her.
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The short answer is. YES,YES,YES. Talking is a sign of dementia.
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It sounds to me that he needs some type of medication. He sounds manic to me. There are good medications out there for manic behavior. I would consult his doctor and document what he is doing in the meantime.
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Yes. My husband did exactly what you’re describing early on in his dementia. He would follow me around & talk and talk and TALK about the same subject, telling the same story to anyone who would listen. It was absolutely maddening. And yes, if you eventually got frustrated and told him to just shut up for five minutes, he’d storm off...and then come back and start talking again. Now he is end stage and barely talks at all, and when he does, it is a sentence of word salad.

just as a side note: When I did take him to the first neurologist for evaluation, his high level of education and ability to smooth talk the doctor and deny he had any problems, paired with the doctor being a sexist prick, resulted in a misdiagnosis & my being told it was “normal aging”. Yeah, a year later when he got himself arrested for erratic behavior, I guess that was “normal aging” too.
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Debstarr53 Mar 2021
Loved the way you worded this. I can appreciate the slight sarcasm.
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Sometimes endless talking is a part of dementia other times it's not. My mom does not have Dementia but she talks NON stop sometimes about nothing. The worst times that she does it is when we are in the car trying to go somewhere. I have lived in the metro area where we are since 1989. She has only lived her since 2010. The urban sprawl here is insane and she thinks I literally know where everything is. When we get in the car the chatter starts and won't stop till we get to the destination. It's about anything and everything. If I say "mom I'm trying to follow directions" She will stop for about 3 minutes. Then say "do you know where we are are we lost???? etc." then start talking again. She did this when she was younger and it drove my dad insane.
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Yes, this can happen with dementia.
My 96 yr old Dad has done this several times and usually it's worse when he has a Urinary Tract Infection.
you should get his urine analysised to make sure he doesn't have a UTI.

After UTI has been ruled our, Check with his Dr and see if you can give him an over the Counter Melatonin 5 mg.

Prayers
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Quick lookup says yes, this can be a sign of dementia. Bigger question is what type - dementia is a catch-all phrase that covers a number of cognitive issues.

"He's nowhere near incompetent, though some of his decisions lately leave a lot to be desired."

That's the fun with dementia - it affects everyone differently. Yes, there are common symptoms and behaviors, but not everyone experiences them all, some play all the hits, some never seem to experience many of them. It's also very dependent on the underlying cause of the cognitive issues. First step is to determine IF he has dementia. Also, a person doesn't just suddenly become incompetent. Usually we notice something that isn't quite right, aka "...some of his decisions lately leave a lot to be desired." To many my mother would seem perfectly normal for an early 90s woman. Spend enough time with her, nope. Trouble with finances was the first obvious sign for me, even though there were much more subtle signs before that, only realized in hindsight. Once we took the car away and I had to provide supplies and/or take her shopping, I realized she was no longer cooking, but rather relying on frozen dinners and boxed stuff. Finding the fresh veggies she bought all shriveled up and over-stock of items like chicken in the freezer clued me in (she was living alone in a condo then.) I also had to have YB take her out one day and clear the place of any/all paperwork - bills, checking info, old statements, old documents, etc. She was digging them out and confusing the hell out of me with some of her statements. Old W2s/1099s were notice that someone died and left her money (it said Death Benefits because it was dad's pension - try to explain that!) Once all the papers were gone, that all stopped.

If your husband's case, this is probably an indication of what part of his brain is affected. For your sanity, can you try earplugs or a headset playing music? Anything to drown him out but not anger him? Meanwhile...

"He absolutely will not be evaluated."

This can be challenging. Never EVER would the "D" word be used around my mother. To her it meant you were "off your rocker", aka crazy. That's NOT what it means, but there was no way to get her to understand that. The only real test ever done was by a nurse who worked for the aide company I was hiring. They sent her to the condo, paid for by Medicare, to do an assessment of mom's needs. Primarily I wanted someone there once/day to check on her and her meds. I lived too far to do daily checks, she sometimes didn't hear the phone, so I could even check that way! The nurse came to the condo and did the test at the kitchen table. Two of us were also there, observing. It was less threatening than having a doctor office do it.

I've read others have been able to set this up through their doctor, rather than going through an aide company, but if they won't order it, you can try various aide companies and see if any would do this (you can say you're thinking of hiring help but need him assessed - we didn't ask for it, they just did it.) IF this testing does indicate cognitive decline, it would be better to be able to narrow down what the underlying cause is. This might be accomplished by just setting up a regular checkup, but discuss with the doctor first, so that s/he can recommend "testing" that might be done to search for the cause. If it's just a "check up", required by Medicare (little fib) and the doc wants some tests done that do NOT mention any dementia to him, maybe they can get it done? Get your own "checkup" and your own "orders" for the same testing, required by Medicare (fib fib fib!!!) It may take some creativity on your part and theirs, but if we can convince them that this is normal checkup stuff, go for it!

Meanwhile, headphone, earplugs and MANY errands to run!
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cweissp Mar 2021
Thank you, I have noticed the increased talking over the last few years. But lately some other things seem to be off. Because I told him during some argument that I didn't trust him, he decided that he no longer wants to be married, which I originally took with relief as I have gone past my limits. After a few days and things settled down I told him I no longer trusted him because and went over some of the things I've seen. He suspects he's cognitively declining, but he's afraid to know by how much. We have our Dr's visits together, I ask the PCP to have he neuro do an evaluation - he sees neuro for restless leg. Long story short he has agreed to see the neuro. Hopefully we can move forward.
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My mother went through that phase...I thought I was gonna crack up. I took her to ER ...told them she’s having conversations with imaginary people & it is continuous, nonstop!!! Even went through the night...she got very mad if I interrupted her...& said “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” At hospital, they told me it’s a progression of the disease (dementia) ....so have faith that it’s temporary. My mother now is much quieter & as a result, needs less meds to calm her. Good luck & hugs 🤗
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cweissp Mar 2021
I wish he'd have imaginary conversations. All the conversations are with me - more one sided. He gets on the subject and refused to change it. He'll ask a question and then just keep on going. It really gets bad when he's on a rant because of a perceived slight. Well, maybe more than perceived, he makes suggestions in a demanding way of others then offended when they or I don't take his suggestions.
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Non-stop talking may be neurological or it could be psychological. Either way, he definitely needs a doctor's evaluation. Consider creating a journal of symptoms of problems you have noticed. Include dates as much as possible. Let the doctor see your notes prior to his/her evaluation.
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Read TEEPA SNOW's website / webinars.
She is one of the country's experts on dementia. I studied w/her for over two years. Very useful 'hands-on' information, and how to cope / deal with situations. Gena.
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Does dementia bring on endless chatter? Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
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cweissp Mar 2021
Love your answer.
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This could be a stroke too. If he can't see where there is something wrong, there is a problem. Tell him your are both going for a Medicare check up. When you make the call tell the receotionist why you are bringing him in. Have a list ready for the doctor and ask the receptionist to have him read it before the apt. This way the doctor knows what questions to ask.
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Yes it can definitely be a symptom of dementia. Yes, you do need to trick him into being evaluated so that you can deal with the inevitable. Many on this forum have used "therapeutic fibs" to get then to comply with something that they resist but is essential for their own well being. Tell him that Medicare requires an annual physical in order to continue receiving payments. Any story that works will do. Once at the doctor's office present a pre-written note outlining your concerns about his behaviors and memory. Request a test for UTI, just for good measure.

Hopefully he has an assigned PoA. If not, and he gets a medical diagnosis of impairment, this will hinder your ability to legally help him (because in most states he cannot assign a PoA if he isn't of sound mind). Guardianship would be the only other option.

You say he is "nowhere near incompetent" but if you weren't there living with him daily, how would it go for him? My very senior aunt talks non-stop but she has very advanced dementia. I wish you success in getting help for the both of you.
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