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He started to go backwards since the lockdown. Ben is a very social person and needs a lot of attention.

Ben probably realizes his memory isn't what it used to be. He knows he should be able to recall the near past but can't. He gets anxious about it and may ask himself what's going on with me? Imagine if you know there's something wrong with you but can't put your finger on it, and can't even control it. It's scary.

Has Ben had a dementia screening? If he has, it's time for a follow up with his PCP to discus what's changed since your last visit. If he hasn't, it's time to have his PCP screen him for dementia. His anxiety can lead to depression, especially if he feels alone and not having the social contacts and attention you say he needs.

So for his next drs. appt., document what you observe in his behavior. How has he regressed? What triggers his anxiety? How long have you noticed his memory loss? You might even offer how caring for him affects you, the dr won't ask.
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Reply to sjplegacy
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Hanna, sounds like you were quite young when you retired.

When we get older and no longer working, just staying at home, everyday becomes what is called Ground Hog day.... same day, day after day. That happened with my Dad, he was glad he still had a subscription to the local newspaper to help him remember what day it was.

Also, I bought my Dad a "day clock", which only had the days of the week on the face of the clock. That was a great help for Dad, too.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Your profile says Ben is your grandfather and he is 87 years old and you've been caring for him and Mary (your grandmother?) for 5 years, and you are retired.

Do you live with them or they with you? Does Ben have a medical diagnosis of cognitive or memory impairment? What type of attention do you mean that he "needs a lot of"? More info would be helpful for better suggestions.

Is anyone Ben's Power of Attorney? Is so, this person needs to step in to start making care decisions on his behalf. If you are not his PoA then you really have no power to legally guide his care going forward.

If no one is his PoA then you can contact social services to see if he can qualify for some in-home help and get him on their radar as a vulnerable adult. If Ben (and Mary) do not assign a PoA then someone will need to become his guardian in order to manage his affairs. This often winds up being the county he live in.

You can also contact your area's Agency on Aging to ask questions and find resources for Ben.
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Reply to Geaton777
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