Follow
Share

In the book “Becoming Mortal”, by Atul Gawande, the author asks some end of life questions. One of these is:



“Do you want antibiotics?”



If you are over 70, would you mind sharing your answer here?



Here’s why I’m asking. A wheelchair bound man with advanced dementia at my mother’s MC was recently given antibiotics for pneumonia. He is 85 years old. He recovered, back to his wheelchair, life in a diaper, unable to recognize or communicate with his wife.



_To ME_, it feels like, recovering just leaves him stuck in a horrible condition, and dying would have brought relief.



If you are over 70, what would you want, if this were you?



Thank you, in advance.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
My mom passed in November. She was in the late stages of dementia but I tried my best to still resolve anything that I thought would add to her confusion or give her physical discomfort. I could not help the dementia decline but I could make sure she did not have discomfort from UTI’s, added confusion from thyroid problems, potassium levels and other health issues. I did not have the complications of pneumonia but would have certainly considered antibiotics if I thought it would make her breathing less labored.

I think it is a balance of trying to give them the best quality of life that you can while knowing that dementia is fatal. When her body began to shut down, then we let nature take it’s course, with a goal to keep her comfortable, with as little discomfort and as pain free as possible. Those last days were precious for both of us.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
Wonderful response!

Sorry for the loss of your mom.

I wish that my mother would not have had Parkinson’s disease or dementia. We have no control over what we will have to endure during our lifetime.

It broke my heart watching her struggle. Like you, I did whatever I could to make her as comfortable as possible. Sinemet, Ativan and Seroquel helped mom cope with her situation.

I was amazed by my mom’s attitude many times over. As exhausting as it was, she tried to make the most of her life as long as possible regardless of how the quality deteriorated.

She died at age 95. She missed my dad. They were married well over 50 years. I am so glad that she is no longer suffering and is now with my father again in the afterlife.
(1)
Report
To "if you are over 70" I think you should add "and if you know how it feels to have severe pneumonia" would you want to be given antibiotics.

The gentleman you have in mind had the same opportunities as everyone since about 1970-ish has had to state his wishes in advance. Nobody else has the right to withhold treatment, especially not treatment as straightforward as this.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Even hospice gives antibiotics, CX because they are about comfort care and comfort is what, to my mind, this gentleman should have. He shouldn't have treatment toward cure of incurable diseases such as advanced cancer, and etc, but when he has a painful bladder infection he should receive treatment as long as he cannot make his own decision to say "No"; pneumonia, once knows as "the old person's friend" falls somewhere between; many pneumonias are not bacterial and antibiotics will do little for them. They are viral or mechanical due to swallow problems, due to immobility.
I am 80. I have already written in my advanced directive what I will NOT take, and what I will. What I won't take is a lot including dialysis even temporarily, feedings through tube, PEG or IV (TPN or total parenteral nutrition), CPR or vents, IV fluids. I would take all comfort medications including any to decrease secretions from pneumonia, antibiotics for bladder infections, any and all pain and anti anxiety medications.
As people with diabilities cannot make decisions for themselves,, the system has to. I doubt any would recommend CPR for this gentleman. But I think all doctors would treat a bladder infections. Just my guess.
None of these decisions are easy ones to be certain. Sepsis is in some ways a quick way to go, for my brother it was two weeks total, but sepsis can be painful and is to be avoided when possible. When it isn't possible, and something has become systemic it is time, imho, to bring in the "good" meds.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
cxmoody Jan 2023
Alva,

With pneumonia, are patients given blood tests, generally, to ascertain if it’s a virus, or bacteria?

If it’s an aspiration issue, how is that diagnosed?

I appreciate your medical background/knowledge!
(0)
Report
But then, none of us really know how that person feels.

My LO, who passed away a few weeks ago, was calm and composed and peaceful.

She could still respond when I kissed her and told her I loved her.

I hope that she didn’t feel as though her condition was horrible.

I was very happy to be able to tell her how I felt every time I saw her. She would sometimes say “I love you”, or “I love you too” when I would leave her.

‘’If we are assuming that a nonverbal, immobile person is “suffering” with no indications of distress or discomfort, is it unfair that we would think they might be feeling loved and cherished too?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
Great point!
(1)
Report
Pneumonia is easily treatable and doesn't need to be life-threatening.

Now, having major surgery, treating cancer, or dealing with life-threatening issues when other life-threatening issues are also in play is something else entirely.

I absolutely would have wanted antibiotics for such a treatable condition. I certainly don't want to die by suffocation, which is what death by pneumonia would be.

I'm not over 70, but I fail to see how that's relevant to the discussion.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I'm 66, in a wheelchair, on dialysis, insulin dependent diabetic and wear depends. On dialysis you rarely pee and because I have nerve damage in my lower back I never know when. But it's not a big deal. Lots of people think my life is bad. But I don't. At some point that may change, and I'll stop dialysis and die. In the meantime, I take antibiotics if I need to.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
Bridget,

I so admire your attitude and spirit. Others could learn a lot from you.
(3)
Report
See 1 more reply
CM,
I don’t know how pneumonia feels. Can you describe it?
Thanks!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
BarbBrooklyn Jan 2023
Pneumonia felt (for me) like an elephant sitting on my chest and a concurrent sensation of my feet not quite touching the ground. I was 12. It was a month before I felt normal again.

Fast forward about 40 years and I had that same sensation of my feet not touching the ground.
(3)
Report
See 3 more replies
Not enough information on that case to make a decision. You did say he "recovered". Life in a wheelchair with a diaper is not the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

A friend of my mother tripped & broke her hip in September. She is 91&had a partial hip replacement, did rehab and has been back home doing well. She is very lucky that anesthesia didn't cause her any problems mentally.
Anyone who has pneumonia or a treatable infection have a right not to die a painful slow death.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I had pneumonia when I was 30 and pregnant with my son. The feeling of not being able to breathe was painful, terrifying and exhausting all at the same time. The very act of just trying to sit up in my hospital bed made me gasp for breath - forget about anything "exerting" like eating.

I was absolutely terrified while I was in the hospital; my husband spent literally all day with me, but as soon as visiting hours ended and they made him leave, I remember crying like a baby afraid that I wouldn't make it through the night.

I know it has been referred to here in certain threads as a "blessing" to elderly, chronically ill people, but I absolutely would NOT want to have it again without being treated.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter