Any of you think about what to do if you pass away before your parent with dementia you're taking care of?

Yes, I was concerned for awhile when I was caring for my mom. My blood pressure went through the roof. I couldn’t eat, due to depression and anxiety. I was sent to a cardiologist for tests.

My mom recently died. I do understand how you feel and I am so sorry that you are having Heath issues. Please take care of yourself.

Many hugs and prayers sent your way.

I told a Counsellor once my aim was to outlive everyone. For their sake & mine!

I think I would think carefully of who could be a trusted Guardian/enduring POA. This may include nieces, nephews, grands that were mature enough. If none, I would look for legal advice - what services are available for Elder Advocacy or Elder Care Management.

While I wouldn't wish worries & sleepiness nights on anyone, I hope this is more of a 'what if' sort of worry... rather than a serious illness diagnosis situation.

It happens to about 30% of caregivers according to studies. People literally work themselves to death so that their parents can maintain a charade of independence.

Scary stuff.

I worry about my elder parents as well as for myself. My only sibling is out of state and I would expect little from her on their behalf unless she is motivated by the financial benefits she would wind up with if she came back here, but she would quickly resign from all that I have been doing on their behalf. I nearly had this scenario happen last fall when out of the blue was not feeling well, weak and wound up rushed to the hospital and had major surgery for a dissection of the aorta which is typically fatal. It was a terrifying dose of reality, your scenario coming too close for comfort. I now pay their bills when they arrive and sometimes in advance. I'd connect with a certified elder law attorney in your state to know best what plans to make .