My mother is over 90 with dementia, and failing health. How much longer is she gonna live?
I hate my mother. She was a vile, selfish, greedy woman who only thought of herself. I hate the fact I wake up every morning and the day goes by without a call or text she finally dead.
Your mom, as much as you dislike her (I don't like to use the word hate..) Is living rent free in your mind. If you truly want to be free of her you have to let that "hate" go. Maybe turn the thinking around, She showed you how NOT to be a vile, selfish, greedy person. And in doing so she made you a better person for it. So thank her for that. (I have always had a "Pollyanna" mentality so that may explain my answer)
You do not have to "forgive and forget" for what she has done just as you are a result of what you grew up with so may she. I think that if you have not talked with a Therapist or Counselor it might be time.
My mom lived to be 92.5 years old. But, I didn't hate her, so our situations are different. Just saying that there is no way of accurately predicting how long a person can live. Some depends on lifestyle, others have a lot of stamina or good genes and can live for quite a while. So, unless mom has physical issues that are causing rapid deterioration, she could be around for some time. I hope you are able to figure out something that will give you relief. As others have said, it sounds as though you need some therapy to help you deal with the past and the present.
You can cut contact and seek therapy. My mom has NPD. I had to go no contact for several years. The Surviving Narcissism channel on Youtube helped me a lot.
I wouldn't suggest or advise anyone to stay in contact with someone who causes this much anger and animosity no matter the age or relationship. I don't know what happened in your relationship with your mother,
If she is in a facility, let them deal with her. Get rid of any POA or other paperwork that is holding you hostage. Start living your life.
Just sending a hug. You can use one. It will be over when it’s over. In the meantime extricate yourself from this situation and go live your best life.
Have you tried counselling? My mother was a very difficult person, but I never hated her, though I did wonder how long she would live. She made it to 106. It's doing you no good to carry these negative emotions, I suspect you will find, after she passesm that you are not released from them. Please get help.
9 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
If you truly want to be free of her you have to let that "hate" go.
Maybe turn the thinking around,
She showed you how NOT to be a vile, selfish, greedy person. And in doing so she made you a better person for it. So thank her for that.
(I have always had a "Pollyanna" mentality so that may explain my answer)
You do not have to "forgive and forget" for what she has done just as you are a result of what you grew up with so may she.
I think that if you have not talked with a Therapist or Counselor it might be time.
I hope you are able to figure out something that will give you relief. As others have said, it sounds as though you need some therapy to help you deal with the past and the present.
ADVERTISEMENT
If she is in a facility, let them deal with her. Get rid of any POA or other paperwork that is holding you hostage. Start living your life.
That is the ultimate revenge.
Go about your life and try to find happiness in it.