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Duznnatr Asked October 12, 2025

Why am I the only one my mother can not hear a foot away? Or she "forgets" what I say seconds after I say something?

AlvaDeer Oct 13, 2025
This is a curious question. Given you don't tell us a lot more, I would guess you may be the caregiver? That would result often given that those we are "used to" tend to be the ones we pay least attention to even in normal situations.

I would say it could also be your approach. If you talk a lot more than most people you may be getting "tuned out" as in dialing you back. If you don't speak clearly with eye contact after getting the attention of your elder, then they may not pay you much attention.

Finally, we tend to tune out or dial back even in normal circumstances those who we simply do not WANT to hear. So if you are the one giving suggestions and directions, you are the one who will be ignored. Think of children--who they pay attention and who they do not. It is truly quite similar.

My suggestion for giving a try at remedying this is to
1. Speak slowly are clearly after getting eye contact
2. Speak gently and with love
3. Speak less frequently and see if the loved one doesn't suddenly begin to pay you some mind.

Good luck! Let us know if you find the secret key to all this.

brandee Oct 12, 2025
Womens high pitched voices are tougher to hear than mens.

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lealonnie1 Oct 12, 2025
Does mom have dementia? If so, she may not understand the words you're saying vs. not hearing you or forgetting what you say. That's what I discovered with my own mother when I found myself screaming to be heard, realizing it wasn't that she "couldn't hear me", she could no longer comprehend language.

If she does not have dementia, then she's probably pushing your buttons. Another thing my mother was an expert at doing. They always seem to make it hardest on the one person who does the most for them. Ever notice that?

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