86 yr old mom told us she had dementia and Parkinson’s so we worked together with her to create a care plan. With her involvement and consent every step of the way, a m month ago we moved her to a senior living community close to us and she arranged for an estate sale and made arrangements to sell her home and car.
my 26 yr old daughter bought her car in cash for a price my mother set from kelly blue book.
since moving into her new apartment, she claimed to love, she has quit cold turkey her 13 daily meds and has turned on us, accusing us of kidnapping her, cheating her out of her car, and trying to sell her house out from under her. She has made multiple calls to friends and random numbers to tell them these things. When I told her we have texts that show her active collaboration and agreement, she claims her phone is hacked and being used to text me those conversations from her number.
i do not have - nor do I want - POA or access to her finances. She has signed all contracts on her own. I have paid everything out of pocket since she decided to move up here, around $10k so far.
she is threatening elder abuse and although I have clear evidence that shows her agreement, I would like to avoid court time and costs.
do I file a cease and desist? What does one do in this situation? She has told her neighbors not to give me access to her house. I do not have any reason to drive three hours and go to her house.
I believe she needs an assessment to check out the effects of going off her meds cold turkey and also a mental health assessment.
side note: she saw a new neurologist last week who said she has zero dementia and zero Parkinson’s. Were used to her being a hypochondriac, but she is using this news to say we’ve been holding her captive and she is perfectly healthy.
she cancelled her 90 day lease today at her senior housing place, and claims I am responsible for the 90 day financial obligation since I took her against her will. All false.
what do people do in this situation. I have chosen to step back as main caregiver since she is targeting me.
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It's good that you do not have POA for her because that would be a nightmare. Your best bet is to call APS (Adult Protective Services) and tell them she was lucid (with medical documentation to prove it) up until recently when she stopped taking her meds. Tell them about her paranoid and reckless behavior and ask them to visit her. Also, ask the local police to do regular wellness checks on her. They will.
Your mother is clearly out of it and belongs in assisted living or memory care. An independent senior community is not suitable for her anymore. Speak to the police and to APS.
My husband's mom told him she was going to report him for elder abuse because he told her she needed to stop smoking (she had COPD).
He gave her back the keys to her apartment and said "have a nice life, Mom."
Stepping away may be the best thing if you are a trigger.
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Stop paying for her, sort and save your evidence, and know you tried your best.
If you aren't her PoA then how did you learn this information? If she told you, then please consider the source.
Take the good advice others have given you -- especially to attempt to get her checked for a UTI.
You can also call your mother’s County Agency of Aging . Tell them she’s not taking meds etc , a drastic change is noted .
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