Does mom need a "nursing home"? And by nursing home do mean Skilled Nursing facility, Assisted Living, Memory Care? Is mom cognizant? If not you do not discuss the need to move if you are POA you make the decision based on what is the safest place for her to live. If mom is cognizant then it is her decision. But if you are doing anything to help her maintain the facade of independence then you need to stop propping her up and let her "fail" so that she fully understand that she is not as independent as she may think she is.
If she can move in with her sister that might be great for both of them. (if they get along, I am not sure I could live full time with my sister🤣) This would only work if the both need the same level of care. (It would not be good if one needs memory Care and the other does not. )
Convincing will never work. Logic will never work. Make all of the arrangements with the staff. They will know how to work with and care for and be there for your mom.
I think it depends on whether your Mom has cognitive or memory impairment. If she does, then I would not expect to have a fruitful discussion that will lead to buy in to this move. You may need to start using therapeutic fibs, and don't tell her about the move until the day of, and have her sister there to greet her (if she's able). You can tell her she's there to hang out with her sister "for a while".
If your Mom has all her logic and reason and memory intact, then you can give her as many legitimate reasons as you want, but if you are her primary caregiver, I'm assuming the main reason is that you don't wish to be in this role any more and transitioning to good place is the best solution for the both of you.
Have her doctor initiate the discussion and be ready with a pep talk so she'll look forward to being with her sister. Emphasize the activities and outings available, if there are some.
Honestly, I don't think you can convince them that that is where they need to be. If she is stubborn and in denial, you may never convince her. I tried convincing my aunt, but she became combative with screaming, hollering crying and trying to convince me that she could/should stay in her own home. Her neighbor even tried to convince her to consider it because she told her that her sister gained weight there and grew accustomed to the facility. She wouldn't budge. Where is aunt now? Still in her house with a part-time caregiver. I haven't been by, because I know the house is a mess and back to how I first found her.
How you talk to her depends a lot on your specific relationship and how openly you two usually communicate. I think you'll have the best sense of what resonates with her, but I can give you a few guidelines that work regardless of your relationship.
Be honest and straightforward. Avoid sugarcoating things or treating her like she's fragile or like you are sorry for her.
Tell her why you think it is a good idea, name benefits, like safety, socialisation, professional care and activities. Also, reassure her that your relationship won't change. You will visit her and be a part of her life, like nothing changed.
Start a conversation when she is in a good mood, frame the conversation positively and bring up your aunt. Be patient and listen to her. If she has any negative emotions, try to understand and give her some space to think about it. She may be happy to do it, but she may also need time to process it. Be there for her either way.
Honestly. That's the only way to do it. I would not give reasons as they cause argument. I would simply say that in order to get on with your own life in the manner you wish to live it this is a necessity and you are truly sorry for it. Reassure her that you will visit often and do all you can to love on her, but that being her caregiver has/will change your relationship from mother/daughter to patient/caregiver, and that won't work for anyone.
You are going to have to expect/accept the mourning; you can join her in that. Is this not worth mourning?
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And by nursing home do mean Skilled Nursing facility, Assisted Living, Memory Care?
Is mom cognizant? If not you do not discuss the need to move if you are POA you make the decision based on what is the safest place for her to live.
If mom is cognizant then it is her decision. But if you are doing anything to help her maintain the facade of independence then you need to stop propping her up and let her "fail" so that she fully understand that she is not as independent as she may think she is.
If she can move in with her sister that might be great for both of them. (if they get along, I am not sure I could live full time with my sister🤣)
This would only work if the both need the same level of care. (It would not be good if one needs memory Care and the other does not. )
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Make all of the arrangements with the staff. They will know how to work with and care for and be there for your mom.
If your Mom has all her logic and reason and memory intact, then you can give her as many legitimate reasons as you want, but if you are her primary caregiver, I'm assuming the main reason is that you don't wish to be in this role any more and transitioning to good place is the best solution for the both of you.
I tried convincing my aunt, but she became combative with screaming, hollering crying and trying to convince me that she could/should stay in her own home. Her neighbor even tried to convince her to consider it because she told her that her sister gained weight there and grew accustomed to the facility. She wouldn't budge. Where is aunt now? Still in her house with a part-time caregiver. I haven't been by, because I know the house is a mess and back to how I first found her.
Be honest and straightforward. Avoid sugarcoating things or treating her like she's fragile or like you are sorry for her.
Tell her why you think it is a good idea, name benefits, like safety, socialisation, professional care and activities. Also, reassure her that your relationship won't change. You will visit her and be a part of her life, like nothing changed.
Start a conversation when she is in a good mood, frame the conversation positively and bring up your aunt. Be patient and listen to her. If she has any negative emotions, try to understand and give her some space to think about it.
She may be happy to do it, but she may also need time to process it. Be there for her either way.
That's the only way to do it. I would not give reasons as they cause argument. I would simply say that in order to get on with your own life in the manner you wish to live it this is a necessity and you are truly sorry for it. Reassure her that you will visit often and do all you can to love on her, but that being her caregiver has/will change your relationship from mother/daughter to patient/caregiver, and that won't work for anyone.
You are going to have to expect/accept the mourning; you can join her in that. Is this not worth mourning?