Why? I cannot imagine how you might think we could know the answer to this? Anything we might say would be a simple "guess" and I would bet you're better at guessing than we total strangers could be.
I think that this woman should consider making a contract now to get paid weekly. Or to move on. Don't you?
Why should he? Are you married? No. Are you his caregiver? You didn't indicate you were. It sounds like he is being honest with you and you are living rent-free. Shouldn't his kids inherit everything?
Judge Judy has an old clip on YouTube describing what is going on here..."denial" is in the desert.
Get out fast. He is being upfront with you and means what he says. He has laid down the ground rules, it's up to you whether you want to accept it.
You didn't explain your relationship. Is it boyfriend/girlfriend, companion helper. I appreciate all that you do but my kids are getting everything. Or maybe he doesn't appreciate what you do but you're willing to stick around.
Bottom line: What's in it for you? How long have you remained in this situation. Basically, you have room & board until there's breathe in him. You are not his wife or family.
Start looking around, make a plan, you deserve better. You have to protect yourself. If you want to still help out as a friend and stop by with a meal now and then, ok. But, pay yourself first. Brush up on your resume. Check out your local library for resources. Contact your local Church and find out about some type of housing or basically some type of legal document that entitles you to some inheritance with a caregiver situation that perhaps, they are alone and have no family and agree to this. He is not the match for you, so move on.
Don't be a doormat and expect him to foot the bill after he's gone. Don't even bother saying, "but after all I've done for you". He's being upfront with you; now whether or not you accept these conditions, it lies with you. Don't let this go on for another day
Why should he. Why is the woman living with him? Is she a girlfriend or a Caregiver? Does he have children of his own or family?
You really have to discribe the situation this woman is in. A woman living with a man outside of marriage has no legal rights to what this man has and visa versa. Everything must be in writing. When a woman goes into a relationship like this, she must be able to afford to take care of herself if the relationship ends.
A woman I know remarried and passed away. She left in her Will that the husband had a "life estate" meaning he could live in her house till he passed. He had a GF who started moving in little by little. She was told by his son that she needed to move her stuff out because Dad did not own the house, her children did. The man died and the children took the house. She was lucky, she did have a house of her own but she really thought she deserved to live in his after he passed.
Is the divorced woman a live-in caregiver to him? If so, then she's an employee and isn't owed anything by her client when her job ends.
If she's in some kind of 'relationship' with the elderly man, she should walk away because he's not a good person. A decent man would make some kind of provision for his live-in girlfriend who's his caregiver whether she capable of taking care of herself or not. That would be what's right.
This single woman should leave that home as soon as possible and tell the eldelry man (if they're in other than a working relationship) to go pound sand.
Sounds like this divorced woman is perhaps only in this relationship for this poor mans money and home huh? Good for him for not allowing anyone to take advantage of him. Time for you(as I'm guessing it's you that we're talking about)to move on and get a life of your own.
13 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
I cannot imagine how you might think we could know the answer to this?
Anything we might say would be a simple "guess" and I would bet you're better at guessing than we total strangers could be.
I think that this woman should consider making a contract now to get paid weekly. Or to move on. Don't you?
ADVERTISEMENT
Right or wrong , this man has made his decisions.
Judge Judy has an old clip on YouTube describing what is going on here..."denial" is in the desert.
Get out fast. He is being upfront with you and means what he says. He has laid
down the ground rules, it's up to you whether you want to accept it.
You didn't explain your relationship. Is it boyfriend/girlfriend, companion helper. I appreciate all that you do but my kids are getting everything. Or maybe he doesn't appreciate what you do but you're willing to stick around.
Bottom line: What's in it for you? How long have you remained in this situation. Basically, you have room & board until there's breathe in him. You are not his wife or family.
Start looking around, make a plan, you deserve better. You have to protect yourself. If you want to still help out as a friend and stop by with a meal now and then, ok. But, pay yourself first. Brush up on your resume. Check out your local library for resources. Contact your local Church and find out about some type of housing or basically some type of legal document that entitles you to some inheritance with a caregiver situation that perhaps, they are alone and have no family and agree to this. He is not the match for you, so move on.
Don't be a doormat and expect him to foot the bill after he's gone. Don't even bother saying, "but after all I've done for you". He's being upfront with you; now whether or not you accept these conditions, it lies with you. Don't let this go on for another day
Don't walk, run...
You really have to discribe the situation this woman is in. A woman living with a man outside of marriage has no legal rights to what this man has and visa versa. Everything must be in writing. When a woman goes into a relationship like this, she must be able to afford to take care of herself if the relationship ends.
A woman I know remarried and passed away. She left in her Will that the husband had a "life estate" meaning he could live in her house till he passed. He had a GF who started moving in little by little. She was told by his son that she needed to move her stuff out because Dad did not own the house, her children did. The man died and the children took the house. She was lucky, she did have a house of her own but she really thought she deserved to live in his after he passed.
If she's in some kind of 'relationship' with the elderly man, she should walk away because he's not a good person. A decent man would make some kind of provision for his live-in girlfriend who's his caregiver whether she capable of taking care of herself or not. That would be what's right.
This single woman should leave that home as soon as possible and tell the eldelry man (if they're in other than a working relationship) to go pound sand.
Why is the woman living there? Or why won't the man leave his money/home?
The woman may have many reasons to stay.. safe & comfortable lodgings, affordable, company, love?
The man may have a will already made. Benefiting his children or a separated wife.. or a charity he supports..
If a couple decide to live together, they can decide the 'rules' to their relationship, yes?
Time for you(as I'm guessing it's you that we're talking about)to move on and get a life of your own.
It also means reclaiming her dignity and self respect.