I am caring for my mother Betty, who is 97 years old, living in independent living with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, incontinence, mobility problems, osteoporosis, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection.
I vote to leave mom be. With all of the issues she has, dental work is not going to be possible, most likely.
Susie, Depends here on what you are saying? Is your mother in pain? Does she have fractured broken teeth or gum disease? To be honest, if she's competent it is her decision. Gum problems and infected pockets can cause sepsis and even death, but it's unlikely. And if she won't go it is her choice. If you however are her POA and there are problems it is suggested must be addressed, then you will have to work with a dentist or even oral surgeon who will consider some light sedation.
At 96 I wouldn't push what doesn't NEED to be done. But deciding need isn't always easy, so I will wish you both the best.
With everything your 96 year old mother has going on with her health, it seems like dental care is the least of her/your worries. Let the poor woman alone and live out her days in peace.
My mom passed yesterday after 3 days in Hospice care. She was 85. She had not brushed her teeth for a year. She refused mouthwash. I couldn't get her to the dentist. The saying at the dentist is ... "you don't have to brush your teeth, only the ones you want to keep". My mom would just laugh. Her breath was deadly. And caregivers and I just asked her to swish her mouth with water (or whatever liquid she would drink after every meal. It helped. Her favorite soda was Zevia Cola - natural sugar not as bad as cane sugar, still not great, but... The last time she and I were at the dentist (about 8 months ago), he put on a liquid barrier of some kind that is supposed to last six months and stop or severely limit further tooth decay. She had been complaining of a tooth ache. My dad (88) and I went to the dentist for a chipped tooth and cleaning on Tuesday. Chipped teeth happen and at his stage (stroke in 2021 and left side of body doesn't work right) fixing teeth just isn't worth it even to the dentist though he gave the choices of crowns, and two lesser procedures where one was just applying this barrier I mentioned above. That is what we opted for. Now the love of his life for 62 years is gone. We each do what we can in the moment to get loved ones what is recommended to be healthy. As caregivers regardless of the relationship to our LO, we have to back off insisting on things. Our health has to come first and that means not stressing over what our LO will and will not do. We can watch for an opportune moment to float an idea and be elated when it comes out of their mouth as something they want. My dad brushes his teeth as part of his very regimented routine, so I know he is likely to allow someone else to brush when he isn't able anymore. Each one is different and we love them all. THANK YOU to ALL in this forum!
What dental care does she need? At 96, I think you can skip routine dental check ups.
If she has an infection, or pain, perhaps you can convince her that you can find a dentist which will sedate her for treatment which will make her feel better.
Otherwise, leave it alone. You can't make her do anything.
If she is not having any problems, don't worry about it. Just make sure she brushes morning and night, night expecially. Flossing if you can get her to do it. I floss 3x a week and get good exams. If it has been a while, maybe get her back for a good cleaning.
With supervision, perhaps let her chew gum; since increased saliva itself can help deter decay. If she likes apples, crunching on them, even cut up, is good for the teeth, too. There are many products now that don't burn, are good for teeth and breath/bacteria control. Even old fashioned baking soda is a good 'toothpaste', even swished and spit out because it neutralizes odors caused by bacteria. There are also those brush-like dental picks; if used gently they are like flossing but quick and easy; dislodging food particles helps prevent cavities. Best wishes; at her age she likely is just 'done' with all the fuss.
I'm 65 and back to using baking soda, whitens better. I used it when I was growing up...yuck! Now, I think the grittiness removes plaque better. Oh the days when my parents had us use Vaddimacome was intolerable!
I have the same problem. My mom has lost 2 of her front teeth! We bought her dentures , but she threw them away by accident. Many of her bottom teeth are also missing. We decided to let her forgo dental care. She won’t go to the dentist anymore! When she’s with me I insist that she brush her teeth and use mouthwash. Otherwise her breathbis so bad that I can’t stand it!
She will probably not allow people to brush her teeth. She might allow an Oral Pik - device that uses pressurized water to clean her teeth. If not, then opt for mouthwash, oral numbing agents, and ask staff to limit sweets (which cause most tooth decay). Eventually, she may lose all her teeth and then require a mechanical soft diet to eat - soft foods only. This is do-able in most facilities.
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I am caring for my mother Betty, who is 97 years old, living in independent living with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, incontinence, mobility problems, osteoporosis, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection.
I vote to leave mom be. With all of the issues she has, dental work is not going to be possible, most likely.
Depends here on what you are saying?
Is your mother in pain?
Does she have fractured broken teeth or gum disease?
To be honest, if she's competent it is her decision. Gum problems and infected pockets can cause sepsis and even death, but it's unlikely. And if she won't go it is her choice.
If you however are her POA and there are problems it is suggested must be addressed, then you will have to work with a dentist or even oral surgeon who will consider some light sedation.
At 96 I wouldn't push what doesn't NEED to be done.
But deciding need isn't always easy, so I will wish you both the best.
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Let the poor woman alone and live out her days in peace.
The last time she and I were at the dentist (about 8 months ago), he put on a liquid barrier of some kind that is supposed to last six months and stop or severely limit further tooth decay. She had been complaining of a tooth ache.
My dad (88) and I went to the dentist for a chipped tooth and cleaning on Tuesday. Chipped teeth happen and at his stage (stroke in 2021 and left side of body doesn't work right) fixing teeth just isn't worth it even to the dentist though he gave the choices of crowns, and two lesser procedures where one was just applying this barrier I mentioned above. That is what we opted for. Now the love of his life for 62 years is gone.
We each do what we can in the moment to get loved ones what is recommended to be healthy. As caregivers regardless of the relationship to our LO, we have to back off insisting on things. Our health has to come first and that means not stressing over what our LO will and will not do. We can watch for an opportune moment to float an idea and be elated when it comes out of their mouth as something they want.
My dad brushes his teeth as part of his very regimented routine, so I know he is likely to allow someone else to brush when he isn't able anymore. Each one is different and we love them all.
THANK YOU to ALL in this forum!
At 96, I think you can skip routine dental check ups.
If she has an infection, or pain, perhaps you can convince her that you can find a dentist which will sedate her for treatment which will make her feel better.
Otherwise, leave it alone. You can't make her do anything.
Best wishes; at her age she likely is just 'done' with all the fuss.
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