People, please remember that your kindness costs nothing.
If you are flabbergasted that someone can be clueless, please ask questions rather than lob snarky grenades.
I was once a very clueless poster. Fortunately, folks here "met me where I was" and guided me to sanity.
Let's try to make this a soft landing place, especially for folks who've been brought with the dictum that they must care for their abusive family members, whatever the cost.
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I was clueless, and the kind people here SERIOUSLY saved my sanity.
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I really appreciate those of you who use their experience to help the newbies, but there are definitely a few that could take that lesson to heart.
You’re absolutely correct! I wouldn’t return to a post if I read some of the unkind and disrespectful comments.
I truly appreciate that you as a new member spoke up about how you feel.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Some of us were berated regularly in our family of origin and to have a repeat of that here is hurtful and of no help at all.
,“Walk a mile in his moccasins” From a poem by Mary T. Lathrap
“Judge Softly”
“Pray, don’t find fault with the man that limps,
Or stumbles along the road.
Unless you have worn the moccasins he wears,
Or stumbled beneath the same load.
There may be tears in his soles that hurt
Though hidden away from view.
The burden he bears placed on your back
May cause you to stumble and fall, too.
Don’t sneer at the man who is down today
Unless you have felt the same blow
That caused his fall or felt the shame
That only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, unknown to you in the same way,
May cause you to stagger and fall, too.
Don’t be too harsh with the man that sins.
Or pelt him with words, or stone, or disdain.
Unless you are sure you have no sins of your own,
And it’s only wisdom and love that your heart contains.
For you know if the tempter’s voice
Should whisper as soft to you,
As it did to him when he went astray,
It might cause you to falter, too.
Just walk a mile in his moccasins
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse.
If just for one hour, you could find a way
To see through his eyes, instead of your own muse.
I believe you’d be surprised to see
That you’ve been blind and narrow-minded, even unkind.
There are people on reservations and in the ghettos
Who have so little hope, and too much worry on their minds.
Brother, there but for the grace of God go you and I.
Just for a moment, slip into his mind and traditions
And see the world through his spirit and eyes
Before you cast a stone or falsely judge his conditions.
Remember to walk a mile in his moccasins
And remember the lessons of humanity taught to you by your elders.
We will be known forever by the tracks we leave
In other people’s lives, our kindnesses and generosity.
Take the time to walk a mile in his moccasins.”
~ by Mary T. Lathrap, 1895
“Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”
Proverbs 16:24
Also
"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21
Your words have much power for good or for harm. Choose wisely!
I actually stop reading certain posts on this forum occasionally because I find the responses so disrespectful and not helpful in the least. Some responses do far more harm than good.
‘Know it all’ types never learn. They are so busy telling others what to do that they never listen themselves. They appear to become stagnant in their ignorance. It’s sad, really.
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