When responding to new posters.

Amen to that!

Ditto, that, Barb.

I was clueless, and the kind people here SERIOUSLY saved my sanity.

As a relatively new member (I lurk a lot!), I can offer this thought: If anyone wonders why the OP never returns to answer the comments on their question, it could very well be because those comments were so aggressive and disrespectful that the OP was scared off the forum altogether.

I really appreciate those of you who use their experience to help the newbies, but there are definitely a few that could take that lesson to heart.

I so agree. Harsh critical answers to people are not helpful. That doesn't mean you have to agree with everything, but do wrap your responses with kindness.

Some of us were berated regularly in our family of origin and to have a repeat of that here is hurtful and of no help at all.

,“Walk a mile in his moccasins” From a poem by Mary T. Lathrap 

“Judge Softly”

“Pray, don’t find fault with the man that limps,
Or stumbles along the road.
Unless you have worn the moccasins he wears,
Or stumbled beneath the same load.
There may be tears in his soles that hurt
Though hidden away from view.
The burden he bears placed on your back
May cause you to stumble and fall, too.
Don’t sneer at the man who is down today
Unless you have felt the same blow
That caused his fall or felt the shame
That only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, unknown to you in the same way,
May cause you to stagger and fall, too.
Don’t be too harsh with the man that sins.
Or pelt him with words, or stone, or disdain.
Unless you are sure you have no sins of your own,
And it’s only wisdom and love that your heart contains.
For you know if the tempter’s voice
Should whisper as soft to you,
As it did to him when he went astray,
It might cause you to falter, too.
Just walk a mile in his moccasins
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse.
If just for one hour, you could find a way
To see through his eyes, instead of your own muse.
I believe you’d be surprised to see
That you’ve been blind and narrow-minded, even unkind.
There are people on reservations and in the ghettos
Who have so little hope, and too much worry on their minds.
Brother, there but for the grace of God go you and I.
Just for a moment, slip into his mind and traditions
And see the world through his spirit and eyes
Before you cast a stone or falsely judge his conditions.
Remember to walk a mile in his moccasins
And remember the lessons of humanity taught to you by your elders.
We will be known forever by the tracks we leave
In other people’s lives, our kindnesses and generosity.
Take the time to walk a mile in his moccasins.”
~ by Mary T. Lathrap, 1895

This scripture speaks to me this morning. I have posted it elsewhere but it is so appropriate here I'm posting it again.

“Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”
Proverbs 16:24

Also

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

Your words have much power for good or for harm. Choose wisely!

bumping this up...

BB please continue to keep up standards. Your kind and sensible advice was invaluable to me when I was a new poster. Please don't take a break as your profile suggests. This forum needs you.

I would add - keep respectful and helpful to all posters, not just the new ones.

Love your wisdom, Barb!

I actually stop reading certain posts on this forum occasionally because I find the responses so disrespectful and not helpful in the least. Some responses do far more harm than good.

‘Know it all’ types never learn. They are so busy telling others what to do that they never listen themselves. They appear to become stagnant in their ignorance. It’s sad, really.

THIS! People need kindness during this time in their life. If you are posting on this forum you have reached a point where you need advice and above all, kindness and understanding.