With Alzheimer's/dementia at play, many elders DETEST taking showers, for a variety of reasons. My mother was petrified of the "slippery" shower floor (Which was not slippery) and after trying 5 things that didn't work, I hit on the idea of water shoes which did the trick.
You have to figure out why mom isn't bathing..what she's afraid of, and then fix it. Or hire a carer to come in and shower her 2x a week, or even once a week.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet which has the best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
Extra large body wipes and waterless shampoo and conditioner caps. You can order both on Walmart.com or Amazon and they work great for the in-between times.
Daughter156, when it comes to showering/bathing and washing one's hair, the older you get the more exhausting it becomes. Believe me I know. I keep putting off that chore for as long as I can.... [sigh]. It feels like a day at the gym !!
Also as we age, some elder become claustrophobic taking a shower. They feel like the walls are closing in one them. Also, some do not like the feel of the shower water hitting their skin. Thus, tub bathes would be better, only if the elder is still flexible enough to get in and out of the tub. Standing up from a sitting position can be a challenge, believe me I know.
Another thing, there is a fear of falling, even if there is a tub mat. If one is using moisturizer type soap, it can cause an oil slick on the tub floor, even on the mat.
For hair washing, I now use the kitchen sink. Have a small bucket that I gather water and pour it over my hair. Shampoo. Rinse. Conditioner if needed. It depends if your Mom is comforting bending her head over the sink. You may need to help her with the bucket water.
Between washings, one can use baby wipes to do a "bird bath" wash. Just find one that Mom likes. There are also shampoo caps can one can buy [never tried them].
I feel since elders are not doing hard labor, once a week bath is fine. If they wear depend type garments, try the baby wipes for that area.
Hope one or two of these suggestions are helpful :)
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https://www.fda.gov/safety/recalls-market-withdrawals-safety-alerts/unilever-issues-voluntary-us-recall-select-dry-shampoos-due-potential-presence-benzene
If she won’t shower, do sponge baths and see if she will allow you to wash her hair in the sink. Some people use dry shampoo on occasion.
Best wishes to you and your mom.
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You have to figure out why mom isn't bathing..what she's afraid of, and then fix it. Or hire a carer to come in and shower her 2x a week, or even once a week.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet which has the best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Teepa Snow on YouTube also has some good instructional videos on how to bathe an Elder with dementia.
Best of luck
Also as we age, some elder become claustrophobic taking a shower. They feel like the walls are closing in one them. Also, some do not like the feel of the shower water hitting their skin. Thus, tub bathes would be better, only if the elder is still flexible enough to get in and out of the tub. Standing up from a sitting position can be a challenge, believe me I know.
Another thing, there is a fear of falling, even if there is a tub mat. If one is using moisturizer type soap, it can cause an oil slick on the tub floor, even on the mat.
For hair washing, I now use the kitchen sink. Have a small bucket that I gather water and pour it over my hair. Shampoo. Rinse. Conditioner if needed. It depends if your Mom is comforting bending her head over the sink. You may need to help her with the bucket water.
Between washings, one can use baby wipes to do a "bird bath" wash. Just find one that Mom likes. There are also shampoo caps can one can buy [never tried them].
I feel since elders are not doing hard labor, once a week bath is fine. If they wear depend type garments, try the baby wipes for that area.
Hope one or two of these suggestions are helpful :)