This caregiver is still in contact with my father lies to him manipulates him but he don't see it my sister and I do. This woman has made accusations accusing myself and my sister of foul things. My father thinks he owes her $250,000 I don't see how the house is filthy dirty when I got here 2 years ago, she's had both of her sons living here. I contacted adult protective service and they said that I can't stop my father from making bad choices. The woman has not lived here for 2 years yet her cars are still parked in my dad's driveway and she will not move them. I need some real advice and help on what to do
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I so hope you have POAs in place. If not see if Dad will go with you before you get a diagnosis. Tell him if he doesn't assign you, the State will eventually be taking over his care and money. Once he is diagnosed as having a Dementia he can not assign u or sign contracts.
Going forward, the more that you and your sister can together discuss important things with your father, the better. You and your sister must be a united front for your father.
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Him owing her 250k...prove it. Produce invoices with clock in and clock out times. Original time sheets show Dads signature showing he OKd the hours. Originals can be tampered with and copies will not show it. Then, go back in his checkbook and write down every check he gave her. If he paid her under the table, oh well, she just frauded the IRS if she paid no taxes on it. If she can prove her time, he doesn't owe her. Without physical proof, she doesn't have a leg to stand on. Hope u took pictures of the house when u moved in.
With your Dads health a age I would get him a good physical. Strokes damage the brain. There could be Dementia setting in. A Neurologist would be a good person to take him to but let his PCP run some tests and labs first. If it found he has Dementia, then he is not competent to make decision. Someone needs to be POA if not already. If not, get it done now before a diagnosis. If Dad bulks, tell if no POA the State will take over if he ever needs help. Its a tool to protect him.
What you don't want to do is alienate and anger your father in the process of trying to help him. If he doesn't want your help, and you rhino in regardless, he's likely to get super irritated with you and then what? A nice calm discussion with the man is more in order, in my opinion. See what's driving him to think he owes this woman a quarter million dollars and all the rest of it. He may need a cognitive evaluation if he insists on such a thing!
Best of luck.
But, that's just how I roll with abusers.