Just wondering if anybody has a mother who is mean and hurtful one minute and nice as ninepins the next?

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Sezbez15 Asked October 2022

Just wondering if anybody has a mother who is mean and hurtful one minute and nice as ninepins the next?

I’ve already been in this forum in the past and everyone was so helpful and made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Anyway, my next saga in this story… my mother who is 72 has health problems including Parkinson’s I am her main caregiver. My father passed away 21 years ago and I have been her main caregiver since then. I used to go up every day, 7 days a week but over the years I’m just too tired I’m 46. I started to cut down the time as it was getting too much trying to run 2 homes and with three children of my own and I work nightshift and I still goes to my mother’s 3 times a week and has twice daily check-ins by the telephone (sometimes more) she is increasingly getting hard work. Something happened to another member of the family’s son and she wasn’t told bearing in mind I knew nothing of it she then goes off arguing nobody does anything for her, she sick of my voice she’s had it for the last 20 years, she doesn’t want me to go up anymore she’ll do everything for herself. How she is going on recently it’s just really affecting my mental health. I just feel like calling in the towel I just can’t cope with her but then I feel guilty. I’m just so tired of how she makes me feel even at 46. Do I call her bluff?

Burnout Mental Health Parkinson's Disease Relationships

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score 1 · Answer 1

Yes please call her bluff.

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score 0 · Answer 2

Dementia comes with Parkinsons and Mom is at the right age.

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score 1 · Answer 3

just smile and walk away, go in the bathroom or your bedroom and just chill out. look at her as if she drunk and out of it. you know you can't deal or even make sense of someone that is drunk. My Mom has been a narcissist all my life and insults me all day, but I guess I just look at her as my mother that is sick and really doesn't mean what she says. I was told that I need to learn how to walk better because my heels hit the ground too hard and I'm 67. I cry and have my pity party, but she is my mom, and no one likes her or will have anything to do with her. Having children and being young must be so hard and all I can say is what comes around goes around and one day hopefully one of your kids will help you if you need it. I told my son that has kids and a home and a wife if I get like my mom and forget how he is just pin my Medicare card on my pajamas and push my wheelchair Infront of a convalescent home and run because I won't know or care anyway. Life is hard and we think the good times are the Golden Years! you know you can just kick back in your recliner and have a glass of wine and eat anything you want but that is all a lie. take care and remember your building good Karma.

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score 1 · Answer 4

I can't figure out why at 51 she needed a caregiver.

I would tell her that's great she is going to take care of it all and then leave her to it.

Don't feel guilty for her wasted life, get busy living yours and let her deal with hers.

There is no excuse for abuse, ever. Stand up and stop being her doormat. You matter!

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She probably had Parkinsons then. Just lost a classmate who hadit for 20 yrs or more.

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score 2 · Answer 5

Whenever my mother is nice I feel uncomfortable as I know it’s an attempt at manipulation. Unfortunately she is really bad at it or I have finally learned to spot it a mile away.
I would definitely back off if you can. Your health and your family are important and you deserve to enjoy them and have some fun.

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I feel the same way. Uhoh! She's being nice, watch yourself. How sad for everyone dealing with this.

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score 1 · Answer 6

Yes that is my mom. Take a few days off and do something with your kids.

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Just wondering if anybody has a mother who is mean and hurtful one minute and nice as ninepins the next?

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