My DH and his 2 brothers grew up with a passive-aggressive Mom. I think they allowed her to think she got her way and then did what they wanted. My DH never let her make him feel guilty.
Since you did not list how he tries to make you feel guilty. You set the boundaries for you. Your therapist should be helping you with these boundries. He is safe, fed, clean and kept comfortable. He needs to rely on staff. Don't feel guilty if you don't answer any calls. Don't feel guilty if you don't want to visit. He needs should not be much.
Passive aggressive people have a GOAL of making us feel guilty...it's what they do best. They don't want us to set boundaries with them, it defeats their purpose of controlling us thru manipulation and guilt inducing crazy-making. You need to understand how PA people operate so you can beat them at their own game.
Do some research on the subject so you can recognize the manipulative techniques dad is using to make you feel guilty, and how to counteract them. My mother fit that bill perfectly and it took me decades to learn how to deal with her effectively. Or better yet, how to protect MYSELF from all the mental games she played.
I hope this helps you. And being a veteran, thank you for your service. Best of luck.
Since you did not list how he tries to make you feel guilty. You set the boundaries for you. Your therapist should be helping you with these boundries. He is safe, fed, clean and kept comfortable. He needs to rely on staff. Don't feel guilty if you don't answer any calls. Don't feel guilty if you don't want to visit. He needs should not be much.
https://www.excelatlife.com/articles/crazy-makers_guilting.htm
https://www.excelatlife.com/articles/crazy-makers.htm
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/counseling-keys/201403/how-handle-crazymaker
And my personal favorite, 25 Signs of A Covert Passive-aggressive Narcissist. See what you think, if dad fits that profile. Here's the link:
https://lifelessons.co/personal-development/covertpassiveaggressivenarcissist/
Do some research on the subject so you can recognize the manipulative techniques dad is using to make you feel guilty, and how to counteract them. My mother fit that bill perfectly and it took me decades to learn how to deal with her effectively. Or better yet, how to protect MYSELF from all the mental games she played.
I hope this helps you. And being a veteran, thank you for your service. Best of luck.