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Puupoa1978 Asked January 2022

My husband packs almost all his clothes to leave our home, but when I ask him where he is going he says he doesn’t know! Advice?

He has done this at least 5 times in one year! He will wake up after a nap and start packing. Says he can’t tell me where he’s going. He has no car so wakes me up to “ tell “ me you need to help me. So sad… it has really gotten to me!

lealonnie1 Jan 2022
Packing & rummaging through drawers is part of dementia, unfortunately. Just enter into HIS world and provide your husband with comforting words and hugs when does this. Let him know everything is fine and then distract him onto another subject or offer him a snack. A dementia sufferer can only focus on ONE thing at a time, which is why distraction is such a useful tool to have in your toolbox.

Here is a link to a free download for a 33 page booklet called Understanding the Dementia Experience which is a VERY useful source of info for you to learn all about what's happening in HIS world.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580

Wishing you the best of luck.

GardenArtist Jan 2022
Can you turn these episodes into a planning event, such as looking through magazines or your searching online for places to visit?   You could make an event out of planning, discussing places, sites to see, etc.,   but instead of a long trip, just take a short one around the area.    Dad and I both enjoyed driving around the neighborhood and seeing how much it had changed since we moved into the area.

Sometimes we also drove by the local beach and spent a few moments reminiscing before going home.   We drove by lakes with large swan populations, spending some time just leisurely watching their graceful moves.

Just being away from the house, out in the fresh air (this was during spring, summer or fall) redirected our attention from whatever was bothering us.

The Dairy Queen was always a nice visit and diversion as well.

It's interesting that these episodes happen after a nap.   Perhaps he's dreaming of better days, or more flexibility and mobility?

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97yroldmom Jan 2022
Poor guy. He just knows he needs to pack.
I would let him pack and if it’s a bit much to put away, you might limit the amount of things he has to pack. Hopefully he is just packing his own clothing. There have been posters who say their loved one packs daily.

A neighbor was telling me that when his MIL is missing something, after awhile they will remember to check her suitcase. Her teeth or a remote or her purse. Sometimes it’s a lengthy search before they remember what is logical to her.

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