My Husband was pretty much non verbal so I was not sure if he knew my name or who I was. We would be in the store and he would begin to follow someone with long dark hair and I figured he was thinking it was me in my 20's. Sometimes he would follow someone a bit older, heavier with long hair and I figured that he was following me in my 30's and 40's. I was afraid once I let my hair go grey and cut it I was afraid if he followed a gray haired man that would me at that time.
I asked him once when he started wandering off where he was going. He replied that he was looking for his wife. I just said "Let me walk with you until we find her" and I left my cart of groceries and we walked out and he walked up to the car and I helped him in. Once I got in he just looked at me and sort of chuckled. Ya can never tell what goes on in the mind. But you do have to laugh sometimes. I think it was the finding the lighter side of some days that kept me "sane" during the 12 years.
Yes, some dementia behaviors can be funny. I'm pleased to hear you're able to inject some humor into the situation. So how do you respond when he refers to the “other she”? To help you care for your husband, there are many resources out there including books, websites, and YouTube videos. The 36 Hour Day and Surviving Alzheimer's are two excellent books. Websites like webmd.com , mayoclinic.org , dementia.org and alz.org are good, along with YouTube videos by Teepa Snow. Check them out.
You're right, no one can give him the care that you can. I love the fact that the family is committed to his care, but keep in the back of your mind that someday his care may be more than you can safely provide, or that you can emotionally offer. Don't eliminate any care options.
We would be in the store and he would begin to follow someone with long dark hair and I figured he was thinking it was me in my 20's. Sometimes he would follow someone a bit older, heavier with long hair and I figured that he was following me in my 30's and 40's. I was afraid once I let my hair go grey and cut it I was afraid if he followed a gray haired man that would me at that time.
I asked him once when he started wandering off where he was going. He replied that he was looking for his wife. I just said "Let me walk with you until we find her" and I left my cart of groceries and we walked out and he walked up to the car and I helped him in. Once I got in he just looked at me and sort of chuckled.
Ya can never tell what goes on in the mind. But you do have to laugh sometimes. I think it was the finding the lighter side of some days that kept me "sane" during the 12 years.
You're right, no one can give him the care that you can. I love the fact that the family is committed to his care, but keep in the back of your mind that someday his care may be more than you can safely provide, or that you can emotionally offer. Don't eliminate any care options.