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hark33 Asked October 2021

My father won't eat more than a few bites of food a day. Advice?

My father is 86 and was in a moped accident. He was flown to the hospital with bleeding on the brain in 2 areas, 2 fractured ribs and lots of bruising. He was in the hospital for 6 days. I moved in with my father to take care of him because he needs assistance to do just about everything now. I can't get him to eat and all he wants to do is sleep. I keep telling him that he needs to eat so his body will heal. Everything I put in front of him he takes 1 maybe 2 bites and that's it. He just keeps saying, I'm not hungry. I do manage to get Ensure in him once a day. To get him to the bathroom is a chore itself since he got back home. I do this for him because he made me promise never to put him in a nursing home, So I sold my home and moved in with him. I get him out on the couch and after a half hour he wants to go back to bed. My father is a stubborn man at times and I need a little advice please...

Leeanl278 Oct 2021
Im sorry bout your dad. I hope he gets better.

Lizbitty Oct 2021
The hospital should have properly assessed him before letting him go home. My father had a severe brain bleed, and is still in the hospital. Sometimes they allow him to eat, but most days he is on a constant feed. I assume he passed a swallow test before being let out?

You need to contact with your doctor ASAP, or even take him to the ER, as lack of nutrition can make an elderly person go downhill very very quickly.

You are right to be concerned.

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lealonnie1 Oct 2021
You need advice from medical experts now, not from a forum of caregivers I'm afraid. You've sold your home and moved in to care for an elder with serious medical issues.......are you qualified to do so? And based on a promise you made your father that many elders ask of us 'children' in good times, that become impossible to keep once a tragedy strikes. He may require more care than you are able to provide him on a daily basis; that's what the medical experts will have to advise you on now.

Did dad get the proper rehab in a Skilled Nursing Facility after this accident? If not, why not? At 86, with his level of injury, at least 3 weeks (if not more) in a SNF with daily PT and OT to get him back on his feet was warranted. He would not have been sent home until and unless he was mobile enough to toilet himself and be somewhat able to care for himself with some help.

Is dad on heavy duty painkillers? If so, that could be why he's so sleepy and has no appetite. Nothing like opiates to do that to a person AND to make food tasteless as well.

Get him back to the doctor for a full medical workup at this point to see where he's at, recovery-wise. If he's lost a significant amount of weight as a result of not eating; if now is the time to start weaning him off of pain meds, etc. We simply do not have enough information to advise you further on this situation. I will say this, however: Do not let some 'promise' you made your father long ago stop you from doing what's right for him NOW and what may turn out to be necessary down the road. A very old man suffering a very serious injury such as he has may not be able to bounce back sufficiently with just you caring for him at home (or at all, for that matter). He may require more care than what you're able to give him. Keep an open mind and listen to what the medical experts advise you to do next.

Sleeping and not eating much may be par for the course X amount of time after such a serious accident (you don't provide that information), who knows? Only his doctors can give you that advice at this point.

Wishing you the best of luck.

hark33 Oct 2021
Physical therapy is coming tomorrow ,this is their first visit since he’s been home and he’s been home a week.I have been trying to get him up at least 3 to 4 times during the day at night he uses a urinal but during the day we walk back-and-forth to the bathroom and lately he starting to shuffle as he’s walking

GardenArtist Oct 2021
How long was he in rehab?  If he's still healing, he may be suffering from residual pain, fatigue, and/or other maladies.    Is he still seeing a physician?   Did he get any PT and OT at home after being in rehab?

Was he experiencing any difficulty swallowing before or after the accident?

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