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whitepat Asked October 2021

What to do if your friend refused help for drinking?

My friend lost her son, He died from drinking, alcohol poison. She's drinking everyday, and I have become burnout, WE been friends for over 50 years. I am thinking about cutting the friendship off. AM I WRONG?

gladimhere Oct 2021
Has with much is she drinking?

A beer or two or a glass of wine or two does not make an alcoholic.

Allpurpose Oct 2021
I struggled with alcohol for many years until I finally gave it up. I've been sober over 15 years now and really can't stand to be around or listen to anyone who is drunk. I had a belly full of it and I quit because I realized what I moron I'd become when I was drinking. I didn't like who I had become. I don't know what was the straw that made quitting easy. it wasn't groups, AA, Alanon or any of those. I just know I no longer wanted to be the drunk and degenerate I was on my way towards.
I've cut all my drunken associates out of my life, even my own son. I have no use for it and don't want to be anywhere near it.

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Maidenkaz Oct 2021
Put her in touch with AA and you must go to Al-Anon to get an understanding of how you should proceed. You can’t change another person, only yourself and your reactions. Also, consider the fact that she has just lost her son. I don’t know if she has been drinking heavily throughout your friendship or if this is some sort of grieving, identification with her son. This is not the best forum for getting advice on this. Al-Anon is.

karenchaya Oct 2021
She is on her way to the grave to follow her son. That is the same as her trying to draw you into her own suicidal attempts, so you DO NEED TO CUT IT OFF. You might try calling Suicide Anonymous and talk about it.

KAWW58 Oct 2021
Your friend will be selfish beyond compare! Alcoholics dont care who they take down with them. Its often the closest to them. Give her the tools but dont feel bad walking away. Its got to be her that wants to change. If not youre on a sinking ship.

velbowpat Oct 2021
Time for Alanon.

Daughterof1930 Oct 2021
You can’t force a person to change, even when it’s what is so terribly needed. Protect yourself

Countrymouse Oct 2021
No, you are not wrong.

I expect this is terribly sad for you, but what you have to remember is that just carrying on regardless is a nightmare for you and Does Not Help Her.

Call Adult Protective Services for your area and tell them you've reached the end of the line. That way, she'll be on their radar when the inevitable disasters start happening. I'm so sorry it's come to this.

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