Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
L
Lov2teach Asked June 2021

Struggling with the emotional part of packing up and selling my mom’s house. She’s living in memory care at an AL facility. Advice?

She moved to memory care two months ago after a fall and head injury in AL. She had only been in AL 3 weeks when she fell. We know she can no longer live in her own home. My brother and I have talked with her several times about the need to sell her house to cover medical bills and because, with early stage dementia, she can’t live alone. But she still wants to move home and the idea of selling her house, of course, is very emotional. She has mentioned in the past that she knows she can’t live alone and needs to sell but deep down she doesn’t want to. How do we walk her through the process of preparing her for this? It hurts my heart. We’ve started packing some things and it’s just so hard. Knowing that she’s still living and wants to go home makes this worse. We can’t afford in home care. We’ve run out of options.

bevthegreat Jun 2021
So sad but you have to do what you have to do, but if you know she's never getting out then unless she has to sign fir the sell of her home then don't tell her it's being sold, she would be happier thinling her home is still there.

Juse make sure she has several of her favorite things at the place she is living.

Plenty of her favorite pictures to put on her wall, ect.

If she has a favorite chair, move that to the place she is living.

Prayers

97yroldmom Jun 2021
I think it’s just one of those things that we have to deal with a day at a time. It may take several conversations for your mom to accept. Conversations that might best be avoided if possible. It’s understandably hard for all of you. It can’t be done overnight and it will take awhile to sort through it all. I’ve been preparing my DH aunts home for some repairs. As I take things off the walls or pack them away, I realize that she will never look at them again and she is in the same house in a hospital bed, possibly never coming back into the rooms I’m packing.
A long time ago I heard people refer to it as “breaking up housekeeping”. I really didn’t know what they meant at the time. Life is progressive. Time marches on. In our minds we think we can still manage it all but our bodies wear out and a private home is no longer practical or possible. I’m with you in spirit. There is no easy way. I would probably just explain that her injuries from her fall have to heal. She can’t go home until the doctor releases her. In time she will adjust would be my hope. I wouldn’t discuss her home unless she asked. The only way to avoid these hard times is with a sudden death. We are not all that lucky.

ADVERTISEMENT


ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter