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lovinghb Asked May 2021

Spouse spending large amounts of money while in hospice care. Advice?

My separated spouse has an account with approx $25K. My name is not on account, no POD, nothing. I've been trying to talk him into adding a POD or signing over, anything to avoid probate. Oh yeah, he won't sign a will.


So now he has starting to spend large amounts on things that he will never use, never wanted and nobody will ever need. We are on the line for the private pay care, approx $11k per month and he can't comprehend why he has to pay any part of this. It just amazes me.


By the way, no dementia, nothing. Any advice?

NeedHelpWithMom May 2021
I live in a community property state. I can see why this is so disturbing to you. I am really sorry that you are going be dealing with this situation. It’s sad all around.

MJ1929 May 2021
Sounds like he's taking one last opportunity to screw you over. He's spending HIS money, so you get stuck with paying for his care.

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BarbBrooklyn May 2021
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/am-i-liable-my-spouses-credit-card-debt.html#:~:text=Community%20Debts%3A%20Both%20Spouses%20Are,spouses%20are%20considered%20equally%20liable.

Do you live in a community property state?
lovinghb May 2021
Yes, I do. I've already checked with lawyers and I will owe even though we have not one thing jointly. We've been going thru separated stage for 4 years and I prepared for everything except hospital bills and extended care. Stupid me.
lovinghb May 2021
I will be left with all the bills. He's 64 and lives in different state and is in private nursing facility. No medicare, just private healthcare and me.

I'm just annoyed he doesn't understand the need for a will. I have everything else in my name only so I guess I won't worry about his account.

AlvaDeer May 2021
You say his care now costs 11,000 a month and he has 25,000 total in the bank? Then that money will likely be paid, or he will die owing it. More concerning is, with on a separation (unless it is a LEGAL separation) YOU will likely owe for the bills. So I would see an Elder Law Attorney now. I doubt there will be anything left TO probate and from what you say there may be nothing left but bills.

funkygrandma59 May 2021
If you're separated from him and he's dying, why do you care what he does with his money? Maybe he's doing it on purpose to make sure you don't get any of it. I don't know, that's just a thought. Or maybe it just makes him feel good to be able to buy things he enjoys, before he dies.
You don't give us much to go on, so all we can do is speculate. What is he dying from, and who is taking care of him while he's under hospice care? Is he at home or in a facility? Hospice is covered 100% under your estranged husbands Medicare, so at least you don't have to worry about that expense.
And even if you were his POA, you wouldn't be able to enact it anyway if he is still of sound mind. So I'm not sure you have any recourse at this stage of the game.

lovinghb May 2021
Spouse doesn't want to die with no money, which is ludicrous of course. We are not divorced, just separated so what is mine is half his.

It's just this checking account that he has total control over and doesn't seem to understand the implications of probate. It's probably just my problem.

NeedHelpWithMom May 2021
I’m not sure that I understand your question. Can you give a bit more details please?

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