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marcykong Asked April 2021

Anybody else plan a grand birthday party with family just to have your LO forget it all the next day? It's still worth it.

My mom has been in MC since August. We made it through the horrible 14 day quarantine, the phone calls, the window visits, the outdoor visits, and the plastic walled visitors booth! My mom's whole community has been fully vaccinated for over a month now. It was just announced that her MC is fully open now, and we can take them out whenever! I kept telling my mom that all of us would be around the table for Easter Dinner. Sure enough, yesterday, it was around 76 degrees here in Illinois...all of us were around the dinner table celebrating Easter and her birthday. We made her favorite food, bought her flowers, signed a card, and made a cake. She had a brilliant conversation with her 8 year old great grandson about the Titanic and other ships he is well versed on right now. I got some great pictures. The next morning she had forgotten the whole thing. Was it still worth it? Yes! In that moment, she was so happy! So were we. We're teaching the next generations to have boundries and to celebrate life. Plus, all of us there remember that special day. Her great grandson will always remember that wonderful conversation. Also, we can pull out the pictures of that day to show my mom how much she is loved and still celebrated during this tough time of living with vascular dementia.

NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2021
In these situations it’s good to follow your heart.

Best wishes to you and your family.

geddyupgo Apr 2021
Awww...... so glad you all had a wonderful day! Thank you so much for sharing and you've proved a point I love to make in presentations. Plan for the future possibilities but live and enjoy each moment in the present.

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EllensOnly Apr 2021
Yes while my FIL didn't remember the group visits the family made for Christmas and his birthday he was beaming in the moment.  We have he memories and his grandsons got their annual group photo with Papa that we all treasure since his passing and continue to take a photo with the 3 boys on Christmas morning in his memory.  Watching our youngest nephew grow each year and comparing him now at 11 to the 21 & 28 year old to the photo from that 1st Christmas when the youngest was 7 months old brings back all the memories.

Daughterof1930 Apr 2021
Thanks for sharing. My parents used to tell me not to take my children to Disney when they were young because “they won’t remember it” But we remembered it and the children had loads of fun. I’m not at all equating seniors with dementia and children. I just know sometimes the memories are for us, and I’m glad you got a good one

Westsign Apr 2021
Thanks for sharing your story. Everyday is a new day

MJ1929 Apr 2021
A wonderful story, and an excellent reminder to live in the moment.

lealonnie1 Apr 2021
We don't do these things 'just' for our mother's with dementia, but for ourselves and our families too. Everybody gets a benefit from the outing, even if mom forgets all about it. And I think we can all take a lesson from 'living in the moment' as our mothers do, since they can't remember what happened a short time ago, they're forced to live in the moment while the rest of us tend to dwell in yesterdays and tomorrows.

So glad you were able to have a lovely day yesterday and that your mom's great grandson has a great memory to hold in his heart, too. My mother has yet to meet her first 1 month old great grandson, so we're hoping it will happen soon.

All the best!

sjplegacy Apr 2021
Good for you, Marcy, in appreciating the day for what it was- a joyous day of family celebration. And for realizing, that for someone with dementia, only the moment counts. Yesterday never happened and tomorrow can't be imagined. Thanks for sharing a such a wonderful positive story.

funkygrandma59 Apr 2021
Thanks for sharing such a sweet, sweet story. And you're right, even though mom may not remember, the rest of the family will, and they will be forever grateful for the time and memories shared with her.

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