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Hopefuture111 Asked March 2021

Need help getting mother and brother medicine refills - they will not comply for various reasons. What can I do?

About 18 months ago my 82 year old mother had to be hospitalized for a UTI. Recently she fell and was told she has a temporary brain injury. Before that, my mother and mentally disabled brother (brain damage due to childhood injury) 52, went to doctor visits regularly. They went to several doctors like clock work. They made a day out of it. They went to breakfast then went shopping somewhere and I would pick them up in the evening. Something has shifted however. Now getting them to comply with doctor visits has been a nightmare. They have broken appointment after appointment at the last minute. I take off work because they tell me they are going to the doctor and then they say they're not going for the simplest reason. My brother doesn't reason the way we do and discussing things reasonably and logically has been of no effect. He gets frustrated and upset and thinks I don't understand his reasons for not going. My mom has run out of one of her heart medications and my brother is also reaching the point where needs several medications to be refilled. The medications they now take are life saving prescriptions. They are dealing with hypertension, diabetes, heart issues. I have tried going to their doctors and explaining the situation to them but they say their hands are tied because they need blood work and haven't been seen in quite some time. Is there any agency for people like my mom and brother who need help on a whole other level to get these life sustaining medicines when they are in this kind of situation? They are at high risk and won't leave the house. Since my mother's recent brain injury she sometimes refuses the physical therapy nurse at the door after the appointment has been set yet she says she still wants help.

Daughterof1930 Mar 2021
I have an adult son with a brain injury and well know the lack of reasoning skills. We were warned years ago that he’d likely reach a place of resisting his meds. It may not be the most ethical way, but I play on his fears of something bad happening if he doesn’t stay consistent on taking them. He has a long list of fears and maybe I’ve added one to it, but it’s a real one. Do you think they may be more scared of what happens without meds than covid or whatever else is making them avoid being seen? I can also see that they aren’t doing well on their own and they may now need in home help or a move to somewhere with help

AlvaDeer Mar 2021
Medications are easily mailed by most systems, but the problem here is that there is no assurance, even if the medications are in the home, that they will be taken. I am afraid, short of placement, there may no longer be a way to insure they are taken, unless you tell me that they will be taken if in the home.
Are you the Medical POA? If so you should contact the doctor. If not you will need first to work on the Medical POA. Then visit the doctor and see about getting the drugs renewed. This will mean that you are the one to have computer contact as to when the drugs are running out, and etc.
I wish I had a better idea for you; I hope others do. I sure wish you luck.
Hopefuture111 Mar 2021
Thanks, I help with their medicine and cook meals for them. I need an agency that can provide emergency assistance when folks are not in compliance with life saving medicine. If I can just get the additional help a nurse can come to the house and draw blood etc. I have hit a wall with the doctors office. I need that additional help from an agency. Is anyone aware of anyone I can reach out to.

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JoAnn29 Mar 2021
I would bet Mom has a Dementia. I have a physically disabled nephew with a neurological problem which causes him to reason differently. He came to live with Mom at 18. I would explain to Mom why there were things she shouldn't let him do but she believed him over me. I realized later that she had lost the ability to reason. That this was the beginning of Dementia. Mom also hit her head in 2011 sustaining a concussion. She declined monthly, it seemed, from that time on. This maybe why Mom acts as she does.

I don't know how u will accomplish it, but Mom needs to go to the Dr. Maybe a little white lie saying to keep her Medicare she must go.

If Mom has a dementia, she is not capable of caring for brother so you need to find him a place. There are group homes that will help him. He is not ready for a NH situation. So sorry you will be going thru this. I was able to put Nephew on the back burner while caring for Mom. He can live on his own. Once Mom passed then I was able to help him.
Hopefuture111 Mar 2021
Thank you for your response very helpful
funkygrandma59 Mar 2021
Sounds like neither your mom or your brother are capable of making these important decisions regarding their health any longer, and it may be time to have them both placed in the appropriate facilities, where they will regularly receive the medical care they need, along with any medications needed. You may not want to hear that(although I'm sure that thought has had to cross your mind)but realistically, that is probably the best answer for them, to keep them both safe and healthy. Best wishes.
Hopefuture111 Mar 2021
Thank you for your response. Very helpful

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