Is the stepdad mentally competent to make his own decisions? If so, there is really no way to force him, as NeedsHelp says. Mayday's idea is great. Would he consider speaking with his doctor by teleconference or phone conference?
Is there an immediate problem that needs to be addressed? Because at some point, in an emergency, it comes down to 911. It is then up to the paramedics if they see an issue so critical that they take a person for evaluation of competency to refuse care.
I sometimes think that the more one pushes these things, the more the "other" feels cornered, combative, and pushed into a corner; tends to make them come out fighting instead of considering a phone call that might bring a bit of help and relief.
Can you give us more details about what exactly is going on, and whether or not the wife currently has any POA for Health Care or Hippa permission to speak with her husband's doc?
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Reply to AlvaDeer

Video appointments. Most doctors and insurance approve that since covid. I couldn't get it up on my phone so her doctor facetimed us.. It worked. I was with her, trying to point my phone for her doctor to evaluate her.. I finally figured it out.
No issue, he saw her, talked on speaker with both of us.
stepdad doesn't need to step out of his comfort zone of home.. just set up appointment with the doctor office for video chat etc...
any issues, all of yo will be on speaker, via video, or facetime.. and STEPDAD doesn't need to move a muscle... :)
If he has any disagreements with that.. well, then you know he is afraid of losing his ability to control situations...
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Reply to MAYDAY

I really don’t know how he can be forced.

Can you give a bit more information please? Is he in danger? Is he causing a problem for them?

I am sorry that your friend is experiencing this situation. It’s a struggle trying to address these challenges.

Others will have suggestions so please stick around.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

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