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G
GHicks Asked October 2020

My father's caregiver won't let me speak to my dad and his cell bill is no longer in service. What should I do?

My dad recently was in the hospital and required follow up appointments that he missed. My dad has been an alcoholic my entire life and isn't well. I'm his only daughter. Only living relative. Any advice?

NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2020
I am with the others on this. Who is this person? What rights do they have? Why are you being blocked from communicating with him? Do you live far away? Are there strict Covid restrictions? Some areas are easing up a little. Others aren’t.

As everyone else has posted, get APS involved. Do you think it was something minor like problems with his phone?

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I can see how concerned that you are and I understand why.

No matter what your dad has done in the past or doing now, you still want answers. I read your profile and it’s sad. I am sorry. You have a kind heart.

After you get your answers then you can make further decisions as to what to do regarding the future.

Best wishes to you and your family. For what it’s worth, I understand I grew up with addiction in my family as well, not my parents but a sibling. It’s tough. You had it worse, with your situation dealing with a parent and stepmom.

AlvaDeer Oct 2020
Apparently there is a Wife? Is she the caregiver? She would be the closest living relative, if she is there, albeit not a blood relative. Certainly call APS in your area is you are worried for your father's safety.

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JoAnn29 Oct 2020
You call APS and ask them to investigate. If they find wrong doing, let them handle it or u will end up taking care of Dad who is an alcoholic.

Isthisrealyreal Oct 2020
GH, it sounds like your stepmom is the caregiver that you are referring to, is that correct?

Unfortunately she would be considered next of kin by the law, hospitals and doctors also acknowledge that the spouse is the responsible party.

Your dad has made a lifetime of bad choices, he is now dealing with the consequences of those choices. You can not get sucked in to his insanity. He has to want to change and it sounds like he doesn't want to, so love him from afar, send a letter asking for contact information, send the police for a welfare check, but please do not become his guardian. He will send you on a merry chase and you will be responsible as the guardian. You accept a fiduciary responsibility when you agree to be a guardian and it is difficult under the best circumstances, having a step family involved is sure to cause you grief. He is exactly where he wants to be, don't forget that.

GardenArtist Oct 2020
Who is the caregiver blocking calls?   Is this person hired?   And if so, by whom?   If the individual also cancelled cell service, and your father doesn't have a land line, this would be unacceptable b/c your father would have no way of calling for emergency help.  

This caregiver needs to "hit the road" and a reliable and conscientious one located.

Your profile states:

"They over the years have taken advantage of my father and him being uneducated and poor and an alcoholic to the point of no return. I don't know what to do. They take his check spend it on drugs and my dad no longer has a phone to where I can call and check on him. I have been advised to look into being an overseer over him. "

Could you elaborate on how these individuals are predators and dominating your father's life?  Have the police ever been involved?   Have you contacted APS or other invention type agency to become involved?

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