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pinevalley5 Asked September 2020

Brother lives in house with aging parents. Last week my father died at home, family was not notified of death until cremation was done. Why?

Then family was notified week later. What would be his motivation to do this? We are very upset. Took a week to tell family parent died. What should I do?

Pasa18 Sep 2020
I am sorry for your loss. See how brother is doing at this point and plan a future memorial.

AlvaDeer Sep 2020
Apparently this was sudden, no illness with family members in touch daily?
Best way to find out why he would do this would be to ask him.

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Midkid58 Sep 2020
Well, one of two things: pitch a fit and ask why you weren't notified (were you close? Did you visit often? Were you a 'helping' part of the needs of elderly parents?)

or

Don't pitch a fit and simply ask why you weren't notified. Simple question.

My mother lives with my brother's family. He is supposed to email us all every week simply a brief update on her health. In 22 years he has never done this once, despite us reminding, asking, begging for this simple 5 minute task.

I could see him doing something like this. He and mother have a weird and twisted relationship and although she complains endlessly about him, she also won't follow through on a single 'complaint' she has. We all just ignore it as trying to 'fix' this is pointless.

There must be an underlying reason. Just ask.

When my MIL dies I do no think that there are any plans to notify her oldest son, from whom she is estranged.

It's sad, but it happens. A lot.

FloridaDD Sep 2020
I am so sorry.  Possibly brother was overwhelmed.  Had any siblings indicated to brother they would assist with final arrangements?

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