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Sandy777 Asked August 2020

When very capable, sane, and coherent elderly refuse to bathe/shower/change or wash his clothes/wash hands/clean/do home repairs; advice?

I have lived here 9 years now. I am not a caregiver, just a friend. I was a CNA Certified in Dementia Training, 11 years. My health went downhill as soon as I moved in here. The man does not care for his health, mine, or the animals. He has skin diseases and fungus, and is causing dust mites issues, fleas, etc. All appliances are breaking down, floor is tore up, carpet is infested. What can I do? Office of Aging won't help.

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elaine1962 Aug 2020
Just move out. That is all you can do. Since this man is competent there is nothing you can do. It’s not against the law to NOT bathe, wash hands, change clothes, or do home repairs. The cops aren’t going to come arrest him and take him away for not doing these things. I know.,I was told this about my competent 96 year old mother. I don’t live with her and she doesn’t live with me.
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polarbear Aug 2020
Why did you move in? Can you move out? It seems that's the logical solution. HE WON"T CHANGE. So, change what you can within your control.
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2020
Move out. You said you moved in with him, so you really have no choice. You say he is completely competent so you can not do anything.
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