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Donna12 Asked August 2020

How can I handle a mother-in-law that gets irritated all the time?

I tried to read to her things that the doctor and the referral said.

MargaretMcKen Aug 2020
Donna, when you post there are two levels. The first is the title that will come up on the site, and there is a strict limit on length. Then you move to the second level, where you post the story. If you put everything in the first level, the moderators will guess a title and then cut the rest off.

When you sort it out, you need to tell us if you are living in her house, she is living in your house, or both of you live separately. It makes a lot of difference to your options. Try again!

JoAnn29 Aug 2020
The woman has Dementia. I would not even try to explain things to her, lost cause. I found with Mom, reasoning went first followed by not being able to process or comprehend. I found that I or someone else would be talking to Mom and she would still be trying to process the first couple of words said and hadn't heard the rest of the sentence. And yes, they do act younger because the brain is dying. I feel, as time goes on besides losing their short term memory they lose their long term. They go back to their childhood. And yes, one day they seem OK, the next like a child. You need to realize that her brain is dying piece by piece. My Moms decline was monthly.

Your MIL gets irritated because she is feeling overwhelmed. She just can't process quickly enough what you are trying to tell her. I personally never explained anything to my Mom. I just took her to her appointments and let those testing her explain what was going on. I didn't even tell her she had an appointment until the day of and after we got in the car.

Everything you have said is normal for someone suffering from any sort of Dementia. When she questions or you need to explain something, less is best. We took Mom out with us a lot to eat. I never gave her more than 2 choices. Eventually, I just ordered what I knew she liked. Reading the menu was too much for her.
Donna12 Aug 2020
Well we all see is the beginning stages of dementia but she won't go and get an MRI done her doctor said that she is starting to have her depression get worse and she snaps at people and everything we don't even know if she's got Dementia or anything we can't force her to go we are trying so hard we see she's in a good mood one day and the next day she's in a bad mood my husband was just mentioning earlier he's like she must be in a bad mood today and I told him yes she's in the mood she is like this when you're at work so you're now seeing what I'm talking about but it's been hard if I don't explain to her she gets angry at me and tells my husband oh your wife not helping me by telling me what they're saying so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place to help her out she doesn't want me explaining to her but then she gets mad if I don't explain it to her and she complains to my husband it's difficult

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AlvaDeer Aug 2020
Donna, you stopped after the title of your post. Go back and begin again. Title "How can I handle an irritated MIL" Then below post your detailed question.
Donna12 Aug 2020
How how do you edit on it I can't figure out where to edit my the rest of what I was talking about I'm what I was saying was my mother in law complain about a lot of things I was trying to explain to her what the doctor had said and what anyone of surgeon specialist have said and she tells me that I repeat myself and like okay excuse me I'm taking care of you I'm trying to explain what the paper says and you're getting irritated so yeah we've been having a hard time with her she's been having outbursts she's refusing to go for to have a MRI done for her head because she's got depression she's like oh I don't have memory last but she don't understand the depression is part of dementia so yeah she just she gets really upset I have a 15 year old son and it's just it's been really hard and she sometimes acts younger than her age one day she calls me a dumb b word and my husband told her she needs to not be doing that stuff
pamzimmrrt Aug 2020
Continue please,, your post is cut off?

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