I don't know a lot of the times, I feel like I'm pitying myself for being in a situation like this and then I tell myself to stop whining. I hate that I do that! Like, I see all my friends and peers that are going to school, working, going out whenever they want and although that doesn't particularly bother me, I sometimes get jealous and feel like I'm not advancing or living this independent lifestyle that I've dreamt about. And then, I tell myself how much "worse" it could be or that I'm overreacting. I don't know, maybe I am but I also don't want to invalidate my feelings. Anyone else know what I mean? Does this sound completely dumb? Let me know!
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And I answered that one first...my last line there was it is not selfish to step back.
I have to tell you a bit of this is from my own experience. My Mom died when I was 11 and for some reason I took it upon myself to "take over" what she had done. After school I came home I made dinner for the family. My Dad never told me I had to do this I just did it. I missed going out and playing, I missed having friends over. I know big difference between an 11 year old and a 21 year old but I know you are missing out on your life.
Again if there is anyone else that can care for grandma let them do so. If there is not you need to find a Memory Care facility that can care for her.
Once someone else is caring for her YOU can become her grand daughter again NOT her caregiver you can enjoy sitting and talking to her and not have to worry about when she needs to be changed, if she is going to wander off, fixing her next meal. And when your visit is over you can meet your friends and be yourself, the 21 year old that is supposed to be having fun at this time in her life.