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Carolina10 Asked April 2020

I finally decided to sell my mother's townhouse and move her to an ALF, but COVID-19 is causing me to second guess my decision.

I have been the primary caregiver for my mother for 8 years. I finally came to terms with not being able to continue financially supplementing her expenses and managing her household and my own. After deciding to sell her townhouse and move her to ALF, the Corona outbreak came and I am concerned about moving her. It may take 1 - 3 months to sell her property, but there are concerns that the COVID-19 virus could come back this fall or winter. We do not live in one of the hot-spot states and the facility has not reported any cases so far. I feel very conflicted about moving her to AL, but I know that something has to change. Any advice?

igloo572 Apr 2020
You’ve gone thru the decision making process and gotten her to go along with a move & selling the townhome. This is a big, big, huge deal to get her to agree to & accept. Kudos to you as it’s not simple or easy. backsliding now will make her confused imo. You know that you just cannot juggle all that need to be done now much less as her needs increase. Also I’d be real worried that that open space at the AL now may just not be there manana..... what then?

On the second wave, yes, you’re right to be concerned. There was a article on this yesterday’s NYT by Lena Sun “CDC 2nd wave more devastating”. There’s also articles on this out of Australia’s Doherty Institute. The issue is Covid-19 is that it’s new, novel, no resistance. For virus like this, there will be a 2nd session next fall / winter and then a 3rd next spring. It is our new normal for the near future.
Pattern will stay until there is a combination of:
- targeted antivirals- like if there’s success with clinical trials China is doing w/ Remdesivir & Kaletra. Antivirals can work, like Tamiflu is a targeted antiviral we have for Type A flu if within 48 hrs.
- prevaccination- like we have with annual flu & pneumonia shots. Vaccine 18 mos -3 years probably. If Covid mutates big time, vaccine development could take longer or whats done not as effective.
- overall social distancing to contain or reduce spread
- testing and contract tracing of Covid-19 positive’s to have others tested & then quarantine new positives.
- herd immunity - if those who get Covid then develop resistance to it. For herd, needs serology testing to determine past exposure. Herd iffy too depend on as Covid is / could mutate.
Or it could just go to being small tight annual outbreaks like what MERS did from 2012 - now; this possibility seems to be wishful thinking.
Studies seem to lean to there will be lull in cases between May- Oct for countries who had peak Feb - April. If that prediction holds, your plan of moving mom this May - summer fits into the lull, kinda perfectly.

If your mom has not gotten a pneumonia shot, I’d suggest you speak with her MD to ask if ok that she gets one maybe in July after she’s settled in the AL and ahead of her annual flu shot. If you don’t have pneumonia shot yourself, ask your MD if you should get one too. It is a beast of a shot as it’s like for 20+ pneumonia types. But it’s good for years. When I moved my mom into a facility, they really heavily encouraged visiting family to get pneumonia. If your over 65 it’s a 2 part shot, a yr apart. If under 65 it’s a single shot, and again it’s a beast, your arm likely seriously sore. But it’s very effective.

Daughterof1930 Apr 2020
You’ve made a good plan for your mom and I hope you follow through. No where is exempt from virus or for that matter any number of other calamities. We all have to make peace with not being able to control all outcomes. Take what precautions you can and enjoy time with your mom, it’ll be okay

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freqflyer Apr 2020
Carolina10, that's a tough decision during this time of the C-19. Would you and your Mom feel comfortable having strangers go through your Mom's townhome, especially if the Agent and/or the clients aren't wearing masks? And if the clients bring small children, well children tend to touch everything in sight.

On the other side, Assisted Living facilities, are the facilities in lock-down with residents asked to stay in their rooms and meals being brought to them? Would your Mom feel comfortable with that?

Your State may not currently be a hot-spot, but that could change quickly. Mid-west States are starting to see an increase, unfortunately.

I live in a low number State, Virginia, but we have been in lock-down since last month, and here in northern Virginia the vast majority of people are taking this very seriously.

If I was in this situation, I honestly don't know what I would have done. My Dad [95] was in Assisted Living/Memory Care.

AlvaDeer Apr 2020
You didn't make this move lightly, but rather because there is honestly not a choice. I think we cannot know what will happen to covid. Not for her and not for YOU and not for me. We just can't know. I think that you just move ahead with this. Recently a SF Nursing home got covid, and believe it or not every single case is of the mild type. I saw some things where young kids are getting instead of the covid some very nasty itchy bumps on their FEET. This is one fascinating and odd virus, and I think no one can say what will happen with it in the future. This isn't an easy decision, but then it never was, for you. Wishing you luck and peace with a decision you are making the best way you know how.

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