Hi All,
My mom is currently living at her townhome with Visiting Angels coming in for four hours every day. I go by on Saturdays to see her and make sure she has food, clean, etc. She is able to dress herself and toilet without issues. She has dementia and cannot remember things except things that happen in the past. Before Covid-19 we were looking at Assisted Living places, we had looked at couple of places and then Covid started and facilities were locked down. I put the move on hold for now. My mom watches a lot of TV about the virus and seems to think that she gets it every day. Although the Visiting Angels resource will take her temperature and check her symptoms and all is fine. She seems to be very angry at me that I am not there with her every day (she thinks of me as a small child). I have a full time job and a family and I am feeling very torn about leaving her in her house with all that is going on. We have a strained relationship and I feel if I bring her into my home, that we will just argue and our relationship will be worse. I cannot get her into an Assisted Living place at this time as they are not accepting new people. I don't know what to do. Do I bring her here and suffer through it until facilities open back up? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
Food deliveries and storage, household cleaning and health care support are good enough reasons if she's unable to manage these unassisted or without prompting. But that's what the Visiting Angels are for. You shouldn't be going at all.
Remember: this is not forever. It is an incredibly difficult time, it is bound to be a challenge explaining to your mother why you are staying away, but she will come to no lasting harm and it is the right thing to do. For HER welfare.
I realize that we r in a Pandemic but like everything else, the news has to overdue it.
DON'T move her in with you. You will regret it, you will be worn out and she will guilt you into letting her stay instead of facility. DON'T do it. Elderly know how to use guilt big time. She has food she has people checking on her. Her memory will decline but the manipulation and guilt will get worse.
I suspect you would need an in-home internet connection with the echos, is that correct?
If you are working from home she will not understand that and it will be difficult for her to accept boundaries. If you are not working from home I am sure you are helping your children if any with E-Learning if they are at that stage.
Continue your research on line for facilities that will meet her needs as well as yours. There may even be virtual tours you can take. At least you can eliminate some during this process.
You should also find out what forms need to be filled out by her doctor, some of that can be done now. Find out what medical tests are required. (TB skin test is required in most some areas require a double test or a blood test can be done)Are any vaccinations required? Just get prepared.
Plan on what you are going to do with her townhouse, her belongings. This is a great time to plan so that none of this becomes urgent.
Bottom line I think you already know the answer to your question...if she is safe where she is then that is where she should stay. I read a great line the other day...Mom can book the Guilt Trip, but you don't have to pack your bags.
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