When a person is dying are they mean to family members that are caring for them?

My Mum was cranky with me in hospital before she died. I was about to leave for the night and was so upset as she told me I was unreliable etc. Not that I realised it at the time, she just wanted me to stay and didnt know how to ask me for that emotional support, common in our family. I then stayed for four days and nights, sleeping in the chair beside the bed. Mums death wasn’t peaceful. I think she knew what was happening as she was a nurse and she was afraid of dying. Mum, Frances, held my hand tightly the whole time, for days after I was told she wouldn’t recognise anything. I would leave for a short break or to talk to a doctor and Mum would clasp my hand tightly as soon as I sat down beside her even though she was unresponsive. Her grip loosened about six hours before she died. I would give anything for one more torturous, delirious moment. X

Contact Hospice. They can help you with this difficult time, they can help your mom. There is a great pamphlet you can read on line called "Crossing the Creek" I thought it answered a lot of questions.
End of Life is very difficult during "normal" times but to go through it now would be excruciating.
Everyone is different they act differently all through their lives dying is no different.

Sit with mom hold her hand, tell her that you love her.
Tell her that you will miss her.
Tell her you will be all right.
Tell her some of your favorite memories.
Tell her that you will always have her in your head and in your heart.
She will live on in the stories you tell.
Thank her for raising a strong woman, an independent woman.
You are bits and pieces of your mom, your grandma and it goes back because each passes bits down.
They will always be here. She will always be here.

I’m so sorry that you are struggling with this. It’s difficult watching a parent suffer and die.

I lost my dad but he wasn’t mean to me. That has to be hard for you. I don’t think my dad was concerned about me when he died. He had faith that I would be fine. He was concerned about leaving my mom behind.

What exactly are her concerns about you? Has she told you? Would it help her to speak to the social worker in hospice or perhaps clergy as well?

I see from your profile that your mother has a hospice team - they're probably the best people to explain what is happening, because they know your mother as their patient.

I'm so sorry to read what you're going through. Do you have people supporting you, too?