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88 year old with COPD

Misty, sorry for your loss. HUGS 2 U!
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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So sorry Misty. It’s so hard to lose them.
Take care of yourself.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Misty (((((( hugs))))))) to you and your family.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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I’m so sorry for your loss Misty
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Reply to worriedinCali
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May you find comfort in peace and relief from pain. Hugs to you.
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Reply to Guestshopadmin
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He is gone now. Heart broken. But it was peacefully in his sleep.
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Reply to anonymous778840
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Thank you all
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Reply to anonymous778840
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Being Mortal, book by Dr. Atul Gwande, will help you learn about the dying process so you will be more informed about what is happening to him. You will also learn about what interventions are possible and if YOU want to have those interventions done to you. With your sisters nurses, they already have some knowledge of this - you need it too.
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Reply to surprise
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Worrying about it will not make death happen any sooner nor any later. Just be with him and remind him that you love him.
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Reply to cmagnum
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Thank you so much. I have experienced it before. Lost my mom a few years ago. I think i can let go. Just pray that it is peaceful. I will look into the books. Thank you so much
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Reply to anonymous778840
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Misty,
You just gave a clue as to why you want to know *when*.

"I am so scared that when I check on him he will have passed in the night."
It sounds to me like you are afraid of seeing your father dead. Maybe this will be the first time you've witnessed death.

Are you frightened what your reaction will be?
Do you think you won't be able to cope? Are you scared you can't let go?

Bodies stop. Depending on your beliefs, the soul continues on. Death is a part of life.

There is not much you can do to prepare for his passing. There might be a few books on the subject. Elizabeth Kubbler-Ross wrote "On Death and Dying". It may be helpful. Try to examine what you're scared of.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It wasn't easy when my dad passed but I was comforted by the fact that he wasn't suffering anymore.

Return here for support. Many of us have gone through what you're experiencing.
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Reply to SueC1957
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We have not called hospice yet. My two sisters who help me. They are both nurses. He is not in pain. Just weak and very winded sometimes. One of us is here all the time. Even at night. When i am here and get up in morning i am so scared that when i check on him he will have passed during the night
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Reply to anonymous778840
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Misty, this question has been asked so many times by caregivers, even me. You're not alone. It's so hard not to know. We can't plan. We just ... keep going. It's hard and draining for the caregiver and the person needing our care. Like the two others above, have you called hospice? They can help in great ways. Hang in there.
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Reply to MountainMoose
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Thank you all for your support
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Reply to anonymous778840
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Misty, only God knows when each one of our lives will end. Enjoy each day you have with him, loving him the best you can. May God bless you in this season of life.

"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."1 Peter 5:6-7
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Reply to smeshque
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A crystal ball would be nice but no one knows when someone will pass. I've been waiting for the "bomb to drop" with my 95 year old mother for a long time. All it does is stress me out. I try not to think about it.

Deep, slow breathing can lessen stress when it overwhelms you. Relaxing your muscles and jaw at the same time, while listening to soothing music, can relieve the anxiety temporarily.

We have checked out funeral arrangements and feel "prepared" for the end. That makes it a bit less stressful also.

COPD is so difficult because it's so taxing on the sufferer. It's horrible not being able to breathe. Make sure his oxygen is on and the tube isn't kinked, have the person sitting up as straight as possible, some people like a gentle breeze of a fan blowing on them, plan for many rest periods during active times.

Take each day at a time. Treat it as a gift.

Hospice is a good resource.
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Reply to SueC1957
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Is your dad on hospice? If so speak to his care team.
If not, perhaps it’s time to call them in. Have you considered this?
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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