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momzac Asked March 2020

If I have coronavirus what am I going to do about my mother 92 who lives with me?

I am concerned as I am experiencing slight symptoms of the virus - Tightening in the chest/scratchy throat. Very early but my 92 year old mother lives with me. I have put on a mask and nitrile gloves but not sure of what to do past that. I am following up with my doctor but know that testing is rarely done at this stage. Further there are no other family members and doubt any facility would take her.

momzac Mar 2020
Thanks for all these suggestions and I am not so concerned about my potential illness (symptoms disappeared but who knows I could be carrying it ) - this was a huge wake up call- my concern is what would I do with my mom if I had to go to the hospital or was unable to care for her? Would a local nursing home take her under the circumstances? I am going to call local facilities, social services and see what arrangements are available just to get ahead of this. It's not as tho she is sick - just old but with vascular dementia and at this point cannot be left alone. My son who has cancer should not be in close contact. I realize the chances of me getting sick without her following close behind(in which case she would be hospitalized ) are slim but still I feel this is a real question that I need to address.
Daughterof1930 Mar 2020
You’re very wise to be thinking this through and making a plan that will work. Your mother is blessed to have you in her corner
Beatty Mar 2020
I have been worried & trying to plan for this issue - except my Dad is Mum's carer. What if the carer gets sick?

Usually the sick person is confined to their room & has own bathroom (if possible). So your carer would wear protection (mask, gloves, overshirt, even headscarf/shower cap?) when entering the room. Like precaution nursing.

But you are in a different situation. I am struggling to find answers & can't add much:

* Keep your bedroom & bathroom (if have separate one) off limits to Mum.
* Wear a mask when out of your room. The mask is key as the main transmission is coughing & sneezing.
* Wear gloves to prepre food, assist Mum with personal care (if you do). Being mindfull what your hands are doing whether gloved or not. Frequent hand washing & disinfect surfaces, light switches & especially taps.

Can you get groceries & pain relief, throat lozenges etc delivered? Do you have any good neighbours who could drop supplies off?

If your symptoms stay mild, I'm sure you will manage. If you get worse, or Mum gets problems you will need to call your Doctor asap.

Update us if it helps you. I hope your symptoms stay mild & that's the end of it.

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Beatty Mar 2020
I have been worried & trying to plan for this issue - except my Dad is Mum's carer. What if the carer gets sick?

Usually the sick person is confined to their room & has own bathroom (if possible). So your carer would wear protection (mask, gloves, overshirt, even headscarf/shower cap?) when entering the room. Like precaution nursing.

But you are in a different situation. I am struggling to find answers & can't add much:

* Keep your bedroom & bathroom (if have separate one) off limits to Mum.
* Wear a mask when out of your room. The mask is key as the main transmission is coughing & sneezing.
* Wear gloves to prepre food, assist Mum with personal care (if you do). Being mindfull what your hands are doing whether gloved or not. Frequent hand washing & disinfect surfaces, light switches & especially taps.

Can you get groceries & pain relief, throat lozenges etc delivered? Do you have any good neighbours who could drop supplies off?

If your symptoms stay mild, I'm sure you will manage. If you get worse, or Mum gets problems you will need to call your Doctor asap.

Update us if it helps you. I hope your symptoms stay mild & that's the end of it.

momzac Mar 2020
thank you for your suggestions. I spoke with my doctor and he said I should act as if I have it and prescribed an inhaler just in have, but my symptoms are very minor right now. I hear it can escalate quickly and am wearing mask and gloves until I see it goes one way or another. The local nursing homes are having the residents self quarantine and they have to stay in their rooms. This would really upset my mom so it would be the last option.
Arwen31 Mar 2020
I had symptoms too, they all passed. But I do have the doubt that I actually catched the virus too, especially now that we know that 80% of people are either aymptomatic or with very mild symptoms. I tried to do as you say, acting like I was positive, trying to be 2m from my mother at all times, not sharing dishes, glasses etc, not touching her, but it's hard, especially because I have to give her medications. I think that wearing gloves and a good mask can really help, you are doing the right thing. There are very, very good chances you'll be fine. Whatever you'll decide to do, I wouldn't send her to a nursing home now. People have been dying in huge numbers in nursing homes in my city. It's just my personal opinion, but I think they are really a dangerous place where to be right now for the elderlies.
Treeartist Mar 2020
Good afternoon, momzac,

I was indirectly exposed to the corona virus 2 weeks ago. My daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren attended a family birthday party 2 1/2 weeks ago, in which a woman later tested positive for the virus and had to be hospitalized (just heard she is off the ventilator and doing better!). We all have been self-isolating from each other and so far all are well. For the last 8 or 9 days, I have been running a low grade fever, which would get worse at night. This, though, is common for me during allergy season. My normal body temperature fluctuates a lot. I finally made a decision to call someone. Our state health guidelines say to only call the covid hotline if you have fever AND cough or difficulty breathing. As I only had the fever, I called my doctor and they set up a video chat appointment which was fairly easy to do. The doctor agreed that my fever was probably coming from inflammation from my body fighting off allergies or early sinus infection. He just suggested I continue with my allergy medication and call back if my fever got worse. The takeaway from this story is that hay fever, strep, flu, and colds are still out there making people’s lives miserable. Not everything is the corona virus, though I can understand your fears.

I saw a video recently by Max Lucado, who is an author and pastor, which was so powerful. He talked about “feeding your faith not your fears”. Whatever we feed gets stronger. He advised Christians to feed their faith by reading the Bible, praying, connecting with family and friends on social media and using technology to stay connected with their church. Of course, this same message could be applied to any group of people. Immersing yourself in scary internet or TV stories is only going to make you more afraid. Yes, a healthy fear should inspire us to right action, but we should avoid the fear mongering that is rampant right now in so much of the media.

Midkid, I agree with you. I never realized I could feel so lonely. I physically ache to hold my children and grandchildren. It has been a revelation to me how much I depended on family, friends, church, etc. to hide the fact that I am often alone. After a mini meltdown a few days ago (which is so rare for me, as I hardly ever cry), I am better, and I realize that my relationship with God is deepening. There is so much in my life that I still felt I had control over. I was honest with my family about how I was feeling and asked them to FaceTime me often - which helps a lot!
I think when the risks of illness and physical death have abated during this pandemic, the whole world will be faced with the after effects of the emotional and mental toil the isolation caused people.

Midkid58 Mar 2020
Have you had the symptom of not being able to smell or taste? That seems to be a signal that one has the virus. I think about 70% of the positive Covid19 patients say they experienced that.

Both DH and I are immunosuppressed. We both have coughs, but no fever. Neither of us has been anywhere near anyone who has the virus. I'm 'Spring Cleaning' with a vengeance and stirring up a lot of dust.

Fear is the worst thing--I had a little meltdown yesterday and ended up with a panic attack and had to take 2 antianxiety pills and go to bed. I have been 100% alone through this--DH is working a jobsite here-about 40 miles from home and he isn't home all day, until late at night. I know that I just kind of freaked out when it got to day 5 of being completely alone and ignored by the world!

Education and compliance with the guidelines we're being given ---and for the love of heaven--wash your hands really well! I think one takeaway from this is that we do NOT wash our hands well enough and probably never have!

Take your temp--you can be 'creating' the symptoms because that's all we're all thinking about these days! Dang!! I'm personally more worried about my mental state than my physical state. I'm growing more depressed by the day.

BUT--this too will pass. Get out for a walk, get some sunshine and dig in your garden for a bit. Or just sit in the sun. It's sunny here today and I plan to do that.

If you truly meet all the symptomatic requirements, get to a testing facility and get tested, for your own peace of mind.
cherokeegrrl54 Mar 2020
Hey midkid. I agree with you on the mental anguish of this. My daughter is active duty army serving in Germany and she was in close contact with someone on Saturday that tested positive for covid. In 24 hrs she was sick, fever, cough and respiratory issues. She is quarantined at home wth instruction to go to hospital if her breathing becomes difficult. She states its like a bad col/flu on steroids..., she is one tough grrl but to see her so sick and so far away just makes me nuts. She made it thru 5 combat deployments and i know she will make it through this virus. But its hard....i try to keep my positive attitude and we stay in touch by facetime and texting...
hope you stay well and keep yourself hydrated and be good to yourself!!! Love and blessings. Liz
EssieMarie Mar 2020
I'm not sure if there is another option than what you are already doing. I've been sick with a cold virus and called my doctor. He assured me i did not have covid 19. But yes that's a huge concern of mine too. Has your temperature reached 100.4 yet? Are you short of breath and fatigued? These from what I've read are the symptoms of the virus. They are testing anyone whose temp is 100.4 or higher in my city. Not reassuring as any of us could be walking around with symptoms and not know it. Hospitals are down on needed supplies. I don't understand we are a rich country...why is it so difficult for government to give the go ahead to states for funding these supplies? As a result many healthcare workers are getting sick. All i know is to follow CDC guidelines and pray.

Katiekate Mar 2020
You do realize that if you are sick with coronavirus you have already been contagious for the last 2 weeks.

I am guessing you have already been practicing very good hygiene and cleaning every surface daily? I would suggest that you wear a surgical mask...make some, patterns available all over the net. This is to help prevent passing this to Mom.

there is no treatment, no cure. Just disinfect constantly and try to keep your distance as much as you can.

oh...one other thing, I read that the infection is also in feces ... so close the toilet before you flush to keep the aerosol effect to a minimum and then spray everything...toilet, handle, sink, faucet, etc. Do this every time you use the bathroom. If you can, assign Mom a separate bathroom and avoid using it yourself.

97yroldmom Mar 2020
I am so sorry for the stress this must be causing you.
Here is a link to a directory that might help. I would call them and explain your situation. Do it before you get worse so you have a plan.
I hope they can give you some help in finding what’s available. Of course there is always 911. I do believe the tests will become more readily available as we go forward. Let us know how you are doing.

https://evogov.s3.amazonaws.com/media/21/media/2232.pdf

earlybird Mar 2020
I would contact your doctor to make him/her aware of your symptoms and explain about your situation. He might offer some suggestions. I was thinking the same thing about my 97 year old mother. I have one assistant, my niece, but if we both get sick, we need a backup plan. The senior center is aware of our situation and called us to check in, but wondering it might be difficult to get help in the home. Appreciate any suggestions from other posters to help all of us. Hope you start to feel better soon. What a dilemma!!

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