I would appreciate your feedback on your own experience regarding visits and call frequently in senior home. I had to enter my mom who has dementia in a senior home for Alzheimer's on Feb 15th. It is a beautiful place and she receives the care She needs 24h, it is a small place with only 7 other women. Until February 15th, I would see my mother every day and speak to her multiple times a day. Having moved her out of the house, I have only been visiting her once a week and briefly speaking over the phone 2-3 a week. The home she is in told me my mother needs to adapt to her new environment and unfortunately my visit and calls seems to disturb her, the director of the home told me when she doesn’t speak with me, she participates with the others and things go well but when she hears my voice or sees me, she starts looking for me and gets anxious it takes her some time every time to calm down. Is this something normal at first to reduce calls and visits to give her the time to adjust? How long does that take? I am emotionally having a hard time seeing my mom only once a week and 2-3 calls a week! I would feel comfortable with a 2-3 visit a week and would like to call her the days I don’t visit to hear her voice and she hears mine.
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She also seemed worse when I visited in the beginning and would talk of nothing but moving or she would get angry at me and hostile towards the staff. I finally figured out to call her every morning and visit once a week. The call is about 5 minutes. I inform her of planned activities for the day off the monthly calendar I pick up, ask about her previous nights sleep and breakfast. She always wants to know what I'm doing and we wish each other a good day, say the "I love yous" and go about our day.
Even if you visit only once a week there will be things that come up and you'll be there more often. Special needs, activities that involve family, etc..
If it's a nice place, you can relax and enjoy your life. Do it! Allow yourself the freedom! You'll all be happier.
Obviously your visits and calls are a trigger for her, why add to her upset by increasing your visits and calls?
Sending support your way!
I will obviously respect what the director is asking from me, I was wondering if after the adaptation period, ( how ever long that is) I will be able to see her a little more than once a week!
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