I was 5 min away by car. I would check in sometime during the day. I stayed not much longer than 15min to 1/2 hour. Mom was really in her own world by then. When she transferred to LTC it was in another town so I didn't go as often. By this time Mom was not even aware of her surroundings or who I was.
Harmony's and Willies ideas are nice. My Mom was always in the Common area. Scooting around in her wheelchair. She could only stay still for a short time. She liked watching other people join into the activities and some she was able to join in.
I felt I needed to be there in the beginning. But, I did not let myself feel guilty when I took a day to do something for myself.
Id visit as often as you can. Even at the end of life when the body just wants more sleep, people still need to feel loved and even just sitting there.. reading while they sleep or talking to them makes it a better life for that person!
That's a highly personal decision and there is no right answer. I can say that I visited with my mom every day, I helped feed her if I was there at meal time and I just sat and held her hand if she was sleeping, sometimes I took her for a spin around the facility in her wheelchair. On days when she was more alert she enjoyed getting outside, although she often slept there too. The thing is I could walk to the NH in 10 minutes and I wasn't working, so the daily visits were not a hardship to me, I would never fault anyone for making their own needs a priority and attending to their other commitments.
My mom was sleeping a lot too but during the time she was still being taken to the dining room for meals we would try to make our visits around those times. Either a little before it was time for her to go to the dining room or time it for when she would be finishing eating and still be in the dining room. Of course, it was not much of a visit by this time in her illness. She was mostly focused on wanting to get back in the bed to sleep, but sometimes we had a few moments that were positive. You take what you can get sometimes. As far as how often you should visit, that is up to you.
Harmony's and Willies ideas are nice. My Mom was always in the Common area. Scooting around in her wheelchair. She could only stay still for a short time. She liked watching other people join into the activities and some she was able to join in.
I felt I needed to be there in the beginning. But, I did not let myself feel guilty when I took a day to do something for myself.
As far as how often you should visit, that is up to you.