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AbbyRose Asked January 2020

Mom won't eat. The CNA's tell me they can't get her to eat and gets mad when they keep suggesting. Could this be the beginning of her EOL?

Last week, Mom was dehydrated and got sick. I put her to bed and every time she would lay back she had to sit back up. She tried to vomit but all she did was dry heave, violently. Nothing came up. I thought this was so odd as she should have at least threw up her lunch. Right? Anyway, the next day she was fine with no memory of the night before.


Since this episode, the CNA's have been more attentive to her fluid intake. She seems better, with the exception of saying that she is "swimmie headed." (Dizzy). I assume the dehydration is to blame.


When I visited Mom today, her CNA said that she could not get her to eat her lunch. She said she tried several times and stopped when Mom became frustrated. So, no lunch for Mom.


I'm wondering if this is her new normal. I know that when she eats, she eats a few bites and stops, saying that she is full. I ate lunch with her yesterday and she ate very little.


Has anyone had a similar experience with their LO?

golden23 Jan 2020
About 6 months before my mother passed she started eating less and losing weight - slowly. This continued and she slept more. It was gradual during that time till one day she didn't want to eat anything. She passed quietly a few days later.

No one can say definitely that this is the end for anyone. However, eating less can be a sign of movement in that direction. I guess you have to wait and see if this continues. (((((((hugs)))))) It isn't easy.

rocketjcat Jan 2020
is your mom interested in ice cream? That counts as a liquid. Will she drink an ensure? Offer her favorite treats, nows not the time to watch her diet. Have you checked her teeth/dentures? Is she nauseous? Sometimes just a dose of pepto would straighten out moms appetite.

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bluefinspirit Jan 2020
Oh, Abby... I don't know your mom's history or her current medical state, but I can tell you not to jump straight to EOL concerns about not eating. My mom recently lost 20 lbs in just a few weeks because she wasn't eating due to several issues going on that weren't life threatening but did impact her appetite. She started at 115 lbs, so 20 is a lot! Sometimes the body just knows what it needs and doesn't need. Today she is back to 105 lbs and ate an entire McDouble, chicken nuggets, and fries. I know, I know... Not a particularly healthy diet, but she needs the protein, even if it means coming with a bunch of fat, salt, and carbs. I'm just glad she's eating again.
lealonnie1 Jan 2020
Eh, who cares about 'healthy eating' at this stage of the game, right? And my mom can out-eat yours.............she'll easily eat a double Quarter pounder with cheese and super sized fries!
Geaton777 Jan 2020
AbbyRose you don't say how old your mother is. Loss of appetite can be many things, even constipation. Have you tried giving her pudding or something she may be more interested in eating? It's better than nothing. I'm sorry this development and facing the unknown is so stressful. May you receive peace in your heart as you walk with your mom on this journey.
AbbyRose Jan 2020
My mother will be 85 in March. She is stage 6 ALZ and Vascular.
MargaretMcKen Jan 2020
Several men who went on a highly politicised hunger strike in Ireland some years ago, all died at about 60-65 days. So that’s the time a fit man will last with no food. No liquid and dehydration is much quicker. It depends on the temperature and humidity, and can be as little as a day (lots of examples of people lost in Central Australia). Of course it will weaken your mother to go without food, but watch the fluids more carefully.

lealonnie1 Jan 2020
When they stop eating, or seriously cut down their food consumption, this could signal the end. But maybe not. Since she's been sick and dry heaving, this could just be a left-over from that ordeal. Don't jump to any conclusions just yet............see how things play out for the next week or two first. In the meantime, bring her some favorites that you know she enjoys and maybe that will stimulate her desire to eat again, you never know.

If not, leave her be, that's my suggestion. We have a son who comes here frequently to visit his mother who's losing weight and down to 104 lbs. She's lost her appetite and doesn't really want to eat anymore. That happens with later stage dementia, and there's nothing anyone can really do about it. He, however, insists on 'fattening her up' which really makes no sense. There comes a time when an elder's wishes should be respected, regardless of how we children feel about what they 'should' or 'should not' be doing, you know?

I know how hard this process truly is. So I'm sending you my very best wishes and a big HUG as well.

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