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Flutter Asked January 2020

Moms health issues, any suggestions?

My mom has Dementia/Alzheimers, also several different Arthritis. She is 83. For the past 10 years mom belches, I have clocked it and sometimes it’s can be 20 times in a minute. We finally brought her to doctor about it, we even were referred to a GI specialist, basically they say it’s a habit, like a tick. The doctor is completely unconcerned, which means nothing can be done. Just to be fair, she can also go hours without belching. She complains about burning in her stomach but after an upper GI and two CT scans nothing has been found. Her Dr. said there nothing else he can do.


For the past month she spends most days in bed, she won’t get out of her pajama, she says she feels faint and won’t eat.. she has worn down dentures that I know she has trouble chewing but she won’t admit that, we have been giving her soup, Ensure, soft foods but I am not sure it’s enough. She is not interested in doing anything. She gets easily agitated and upset that she isn’t getting better but Dr says thats part of the dementia. She won’t shower, she fusses about taking her pills because of the belching and has stopped her daily walks and crossword puzzles. We give her Mylanta like water, she has taken acid reflux pills that didn’t do relief anything, Dr has her on a mild anti depressant that also stimulates eating but I have not seen any improvements.


She seems to me she is just giving up and no longer wants to be around, and she has said that before. My husband and I are her caretakers and she is very well taken care of, but it seems like she is just going downhill and we are at complete loss. I was thinking it’s time to bring in in- home care that specializes in Alzheimer's/dementia care. I don’t think she is at the point to go into a home. Honestly, how will I know when it’s time- who can I talk to help us make that decision?


I came on here..looking for answers..looking for guidance.. because I feel alone, lost, helpless.. I feel powerless. My husband is with her daily and I see what this is doing to him. We haven’t been on vacation in years.

NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
So sad. Hard for your mom. Hard for you as her caregiver. You said her doctor doesn’t seem concerned. Is it possible to get a second opinion?

Maybe there is some other treatment that will give her relief.

As isthisreallyreal suggested the Aloe Vera is good. My dad used to take that too.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Isthisrealyreal Jan 2020
For the burning discomfort can I recommend a couple of things that will help. 1st get her on a daily probiotic, Swanson vitamins is a great place for reasonably priced ones. 2nd get some aloe vera juice. I mix mine with whole fruit apple juice because it is a bit sour tasting and I found that it goes well with the apple, not so much with other juices🤢. These should help her feel better.

Unless she wants surgery or heroic measures I wouldn't chase down the cause, I would find what will ease the pain and use that. I have referred several people to the above with positive results for all.

Can I encourage you to get mom into respite and you and hubby take a month break and refuel. You are not discarding her, you will be better caregivers and more able to see reality with a real break.

I would do a trip or two and spend some time at home, alone with each other.

I think that it is time for placement when it no longer works for everyone in the house. If you place her permanently you can visit and spend time with her and go back to being her daughter.

Hugs to you.

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anonymous912123 Jan 2020
So sorry that you are having to deal with this. For me, if someone spends most of their time in bed and has dementia, I would consider placing her somewhere where she will have 24/7 care in MC. This is a progressive disease, she will continue to get worse, as there is no cure.

I found that it actually cost less to place my husband in a home, than it did by keeping him home with 24/7 care.

We just placed my mother in AL, she was living alone doing nothing, although she fought my brother and I for years, she finally agreed...that was because she had a slight stroke. Much to our surprise she really likes it, she has made new friends, participates in the activities and feels safe.

Might be worth considering as you and your husband are entitled to a life too. My mother is 94, your mother could live for another 10 years or more, that is a long time to put your life on hold.

I am sure that others will be here to give you some guidance, keep posting it will help.

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