My father has been my rock my whole life. So when we found out he was diagnosed with dementia it hit me pretty hard. But he chose to live on his own in another state prior to diagnosis. It wasn't 100% clear to him if he was when he first told me as he was all over the place with his stories (paranoria about odd & ends). Most things he talked about didn't make any sense. And I could not receive confirmation from his doctor (at the time). He was homeless and had just received an apartment he paid very little for. After being there a couple of years his condition was worsening and was being evicted for non-payment (it was explained as such but really his casemanager lied so I wouldn't find out he was scaring the neighbors). She harrassed me every other day even after I explained time & time again I had no way to get down there or back and no room to place him. And I have a small family of my own that I can't leave unattended. After several months my husband was able to take a small break from work and retrieve Dad. We have had him almost 3 years now and he has gotten worse in his outbursts. Tries to not eat (usually just dinner but sometimes all meals). Among other things as well. I have told his doctors here but they haven't been much of any help. I get refferred and refferred but nothing sticks. I have been literally passing the ball from one place who passes it to another whom passes it back. Some have good intentions and it's understandable but I need help. The way I understand it is in my state medicaid doesn't pay enough for him to go into a nursing home. That he would need help from a program which is volunteer only (and I understand the reasoning). When we met with the social for this program he turned into this super ugly stubborn being who claimed they needed NO ONE but their pills. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before. She offered advise on getting him seen by geriatics but i can't even get him seen by one unless I call an ambulence out and risk traumatizing Dad and/or my children.
Through all of this the last year has been hell and now my husband is throwing the ultimatium of either I get Dad out of his house or he will leave!I understand the why but still.MY HANDS feel tied.Everything I was told to do has never worked the way it was explained to me.All dead ends so how am I supposed to fix this mess?All I wanted to do was follow Dad's example(he took care of both his dad & mom who had alz).
Any advice would be greatly appreciated