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thedaughter23 Asked November 2019

Does anyone else wake up in your sleep thinking that you've been called?

Every night, around 3 or 4 am, I wake up and jump out of bed thinking I hear my mom calling me. I wake up suddenly, zoom into her room and see that she is sound asleep. It's been happening every single night for like 2 weeks. I go back into my room and see that my covers are on the floor. I threw them completely off of me to get up as soon as possible. Happens every. single. night.

Countrymouse Nov 2019
This is the result of stress and anxiety. I wouldn't call it "normal" exactly, but it doesn't take much imagination to see why it might happen - you're constantly on the alert, and this doesn't switch off even when you're asleep.

Have you thought of trying a baby monitor? - the listening bit in your mother's room, the receiver in yours. If you wake up and can just recollect yourself enough to listen before you jump out of bed, it might save you completely disrupting your night's rest.

As the waking is a recent development, it may also be a warning sign of burnout. When did you last get a real break and a real rest? Has anything happened with your mother recently that has made you more anxious about her?

Eyerishlass Nov 2019
This used to happen to me before my dad died. I'd hear him call me and I'd jump straight up in bed. I'd listen to see if he was actually calling me and most of the time he wasn't. My dad's been gone for some years now but every once in a while I still jump out of bed, thinking he's calling me.

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BeckyT Nov 2019
It’s almost like a form of PTSD. Your brain is always aware, always alert.
Davenport Nov 2019
Yep. : (
cetude Nov 2019
It's stressful being a caregiver, and it pretty much destroys your own life if it keeps up for years and years. My mom recently died and I don't even know how to think straight without mom around. She has been total care 24/7 -- for 5 years. The last 3 months she was bedridden. Liver tumors killed her..not Alzheimer's. Irony if she were a walkie-talkie self caring person the same thing would have happened to her..she died age 90.

I do suggest getting a floor alarm mat. When the loved one (LO) steps on it, an alarm will be set off. I also suggest buying a FALL MAT. Most falls happen while getting out of bed and this would cushion the fall and help prevent broken bones and brain bleeds. Alarms will help relieve your anxiety..and they do work. I suggest getting the PLUG IN the wall floor alarm. I do not like bed alarms because they turn or move it will give off false alarms. The floor alarm is better. Once they put a little weight on it the alarm goes off.
Sjcjuly Nov 2019
i agree A plug-in floor alarm is the best.
earlybird Nov 2019
I sometimes think I hear my mother is calling me and I check on her and she is sleeping comfortable. I half sleep most of the time. Be careful and get up slowly. I ran into the wall and almost fell in the middle of the night and ran into her commode. I use night lights now.

EdithHankl Nov 2019
It happens to me, too; I'm sure my husband called me, but in fact it's an auditory hallucination. My shrink attributes them to hypervigilance, that sense that you must always be prepared. You might talk to your PCP about thus; a mild sleeping pill might help you get some meaningful rest without plunging you into the depths where you wouldn't hear a real call for help. -- And the idea of a baby monitor seems like something that would definitely be worth a try.
Good luck -- you need your sleep as do we all).

anonymous275053 Nov 2019
I believe We as Carers never really get that deep sleep since We are so aware that We have the responsibility for a Life, and those Who We Care depend their Life on Us. I know when I cared for my Mother I always felt wrecked, exhausted in the mornings. I never once woke in the morning thinking wow I feel absolutely wonderful because I slept great last night. I felt that I always slept with one eye open all of the time and the slightest sound I always heard it. Sadly for me my Mother died in June 2016, Rip and I am no longer a Carer but tough as it is I would gladly do it all again.

Sjcjuly Nov 2019
Yes. A plug in floor alarm was a godsend to our family in the care of my completely mobile healthy strong father in his bedroom. Dad had mild dementia that created multiple awakenings at night and wandering.. Dad needed assistance with using the portable potty. We Placed the floor alarm alongside his bed where his feet would hit when he would get up. The moment the alarm went off it woke me up and I was in his bedroom. As his dementia increased I slept in a separate bed in his bedroom and used the alarm. It always alerted me when his feet hit the floor. Amazon has a really good one. The portable alarm box can be taken into another bedroom or downstairs so easy to use. I carried it around with me when dad was taking a nap or in bed for the night. I can still hear the chime going off in my head. We used 
The Floor Mat Alarm System for Preventing Falls & Wandering $139,95 Kerr Medical.on Amazon. They still have it available.
klizzy Nov 2019
I did not know these existed. I will tuck it away in the back of my head for future reference.
Begrateful Nov 2019
I know the 3 o’clock hour well. When I get into the cycle a beloved wise man told me, “soothe yourself.” Before you jump out of bed, Lay quietly and listen for a problem. A tiny pause will really not make a difference if you are needed. Take a sip of water. If needed, and go to attend to the problem. Otherwise, I go with the thought “someone needs a bit of prayer.” In the quiet I say a short prayer offering it to anyone in need, even myself. There are great phone apps to pray along with like Discerning Hearts. I sometimes play soothing harp music and try to resettle. Audio books put me to sleep too. I learned that I have to remind myself that when jump up quickly I create commotion. I stir the pets, I fumble half alert, I stub my toes and lose the ability to resettle. It is hard — I don’t know the last time I slept through the night. Mom stays up late, she likes to talk and watch TV. I used to stay up too- but now I keep it short and pleasant. Yes, count me among the exhausted. I wouldn’t change my situation, but, oh how I value my morning time when she sleeps in a little.

MrsHoover Nov 2019
Because it is nightly, you may be like me, experiencing severe stress. (I am 75.) Stress causes an increase in a hormone called Cortisol, which peaks in most people around 3:15 or so am, who wake up and don't know exactly why. Since my husband's stroke back in 2000, I have dealt with the same issue you describe. After a bout of pneumonia in 2017, he was sent to a nursing home for two months because all of the damage from the initial stroke had returned. He is now bedridden, on a feeding tube, and incontinent, and still my sweet husband even with transient (vascular) dementia. I have been his sole caregiver for two years. BUT, I have a new lease on life and energy to take care of him for a couple of more years! I visited an endocrinologist two month ago and explained my 3:15 arousals. I was prescribed appropriate meds and I am happy to say I now get about 6 hours of quality sleep, going to bed after husband's sundowning is over. If you're on real Medicare and in charge of your own care, find a quality endocrinologist and tell him/her about your 3 am arousal. If not, insist that your GP pay attention to this classic symptom and do something about it. Good luck.

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