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Ludmila Asked October 2019

Best way to transition mom?

We convinced mom to move out of her house into an independent living place. We are going to help her move. What is the best way to transition her? Should we visit right away every day or should we leave her alone for a few days and then visit?

Ludmila Oct 2019
Thanks JoAnn29. Your answer is reassuring to us.

I think mom might be mildly impaired, she is very forgetful. She agreed to move, signed the lease, and seems looking forward to join a new community because she hates living alone. I am hoping the move will be good for her, but I worry about how she’ll adapt, will she remember the activity or dining schedules? If she gets on a shuttle bus that takes her shopping will she remember how to get back on the shuttle?

When she had a routine she did well. Now her routine will be disrupted by the move.

JoAnn29 Oct 2019
Just Mom being OK with it is a big thing. Make sure she has what is important to her but don't junk up the new place. She has no Dementia or needs to get used to staff so I don't see visiting a problem. Just checking in for a week or so should be OK. But, set Boundries now. If the IL provides activities and trips encourage her to participate. If they have bus service for appts and shopping encourage that too. If you want, set up a day for shopping and running errands. Maybe lunch. Maybe include her in dinner once a week. Give her something to look forward to. Go on with ur life. If u have a trip, go. Set boundries now, especially with phone calls. Put a white board on the frig telling her to write down things she needs. I had a BIG calendar on the frig I wrote appts on and other things. Make sure the numbers she needs are where she sees them. Like Drs, family members, maintenance, ect.

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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
I don’t think I would wait too long. You don’t want her to change her mind or have anxiety if you wait too long.

Do you feel she needs more time? If so, why?

Best wishes. Glad that you convinced her. Are you planning to visit often? If so, reassure her of that. That would be comforting to her.

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