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sbopie Asked August 2019

What can I do about my father's driving?

My father is 82 who has 3 strokes. He was up for his license renewal he had to go to his doctor for a medical release and his doctor said he recommended that he pass a road test but the BMV just turned around and sent his license in the mail with no questions asked! We are very concerned about his driving. I know if he had to have a road test that he wouldn't have passed. I don't want him driving putting his life and everyone on the road in danger. Right now we have his car and I won't let him have it back but my husband said he can go rent a car if he wanted to. What should I do?

NYDaughterInLaw Aug 2019
Do you envision your dad going to a rental car company and renting a car??? And who in their right mind would help him rent a car? Imagine for a minute that "someone" takes him to Avis/Budget/Thrifty and he gets to the counter and has no reservation because he doesn't understand that he needed to reserve a car online. The counter agent asks for his driver's license and a major credit card. He asks him the ton of questions that come along with renting a car. Do you foresee him ever getting the contract put in front of him? Do you foresee him actually driving off the lot in a rental car?

Countrymouse Aug 2019
Contact the DMV and challenge their decision to ignore your father's doctor's recommendation. Ten to one there's a clerical error or oversight at the root of it.

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Windyridge Aug 2019
This was my biggest struggle with my dad who has dementia. I even had a secret GPS device so I could track him everyday. I finally disabled his car by pulling the starter relay, He couldn’t start it, I told him I’d call a tow truck and played that card for several days. He ended up in assisted living with mom and was obsessed with trying to find his car for months. I plugged the relay back in and sold the car.

My advice, if you have control of his car do not give in! That’s the hardest part for most folks, getting the keys and/or car.

If dad is still “with it” and can access his money he may well try to buy or rent a car. I called the local dealer where my dad always bought his chevys and put them on alert. They were pretty nice about it.

I was lucky. Dad had started to get lost and wander but wasn’t having fender benders yet. There wasn’t a scratch on the car. But it was just a matter of time.

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