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K
Kroberts Asked July 2019

Anyone have a parent who needs but is adamantly opposed to going into an assisted living facility? Need help.

Daughterof1930 Jul 2019
My dad can barely walk, has end stage congestive heart failure, and is overall just quite physically frail. He lives alone in his home. There’s no question that he shouldn’t and many family, friends, and medical professionals have advised that he go to assisted living. However, he has a sound mind, and we’ve been told as long as that’s true, there is no way to force him to move. So many props and helps have been put in place to make his home and life as safe and accommodating as it can be. No one thinks it’s wise, but he’s a true depression baby, and cannot see spending money on somewhere to live when he has a paid for home. Plus he views it as “giving up”
Your situation depends on the mental status of your parent, if there’s dementia you have more sway, though it still can take a battle. Have you got your parents doctors on your side?

anonymous912123 Jul 2019
Unfortunately, most do resist. They are so uninformed about how these facilities have improved over the years, they dwell on the old war stories they have heard. I would make appointments and take her to a few, let her see them for herself. The one we are placing my step father and his wife by us in Florida, is like a 5 star resort, it has very high ratings and no complaints to the state.

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CTTN55 Jul 2019
According to your profile, "I am caring for my mother Dorothy, who is 83 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, incontinence, mobility problems, and urinary tract infection."

Are you doing all the caregiving now? Do you live with your mother?

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