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Gurbuz Asked July 2019

How to convince an elderly brother to bathe or to clean his body?

My brother 73 will not bathe or take a shower over long periods of time. Each time he is reminded to take a bath he postpones it with absurd reasons, what must I and my sister do to convince him?

CaregiverL Jul 2019
Get shower chair, railing to hold onto, bath mat & Medical alert button for emergencies

freqflyer Jul 2019
Gurbuz, as Arselle had mentioned in her/his post, fatigue is very much a part of the situation. I know, I am in my early 70's, and taking a shower is like having a workout at the gym... whew.

Some seniors develop claustrophobic of small places, such as bathtubs/showers. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself I need to keep the far shower door open a couple of feet.

Now, another issue is falling. If brother is using a liquid soap that has moisturizers and/or hair conditioners that have oils, the bottom of the tub becomes a skating rink, even with a shower mat.

Then the toweling dry segment. Bending over to dry one's legs can make some seniors feel lightheaded. And trying to completely towel dry can be a balancing act if one had to lift one's leg to dry one's ankles/feet. I know I am hopping all over. I really need to sit down to dry off.

If brother blow dries his hair, that can be very tiring on one's arms.

For in between showers, one can use baby wipes. On these hot days, those baby wipes can feel nice and cool :)
anonymous739426 Jul 2019
Sorry to hear you are also experiencing the debilitating fatigue. Many people don't realise how difficult and energy draining it is to shower! You also made a good point that this gentlman might need help drying off and help with dressing too.

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anonymous739426 Jul 2019
Losing ability to care for oneself can be very embarrassing so approach gently. I guess you need to consider why he is having difficulties. Perhaps it is fatigue which can be very debiliating. Maybe he just needs help and can no longer do this on his own. It could be a whole range of reasons that you might have not considered. Maybe he fears falling? Perhaps he doesn't feel safe...If he lives alone... perhaps you could offer to come over to be around while he showers, maybe you could ask him, does he need help? Do you need to help him to hire a carer? Does he need a chair in the shower? Does he need safety rails installed? All those things. My father also started to have long periods between showers, and it simply was a matter that he had no energy to do it, and he felt very unsafe and feared falling. When we convinced him to accept professional help which is what he needed, he has showers regularly. Good luck.

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