My grandma has a strange habit with paper towels. Is there a solution?

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Have posted here couple times and I have read threads to much help and familiarity with caregiving. It all helps to know that we arent alone. My concern is my grandmother's (72 with CHF and vascular dementia) paper towel habit. She uses them to sit on the seat or couch, and or to makeshift pads or just simply on top. I know she uses them because of the paper trails (like hanzel and gretel) and the clean up as you can imagine is tedious and never ending. Not to mention its not healthy. I've reminded her to change often so we can avoid accidents and infections but she insists she isnt wet or soiled and doesnt need to shower. I want her to be clean and smelling nice. I clean up any towels she brings out because more often than not they're wet and smelly. She doesnt like to sleep on a mattress pad. (I TRIED) she ends up folding it and under the sink! Each time I try to have her change or even clean up it's a problem and I get called controlling or the police :( it's the same attitude with her meds, food and just daily things. I try not to force her to do anything she doesnt want to but its troubling to see her this way. I also live with an uncle whom needs certain level of care but is more independent than my grandma. (45yrs old and sees social worker yearly) He helps her with meals when she is the most picky and non compliant (she thinks she will gain weight but cant swell up due to her chf) so in her mind she cant eat. So using treats to have her change is a hit or miss. She likes to complain most about the foods she eats. Tries to feed us with her food most of the time hahaha I keep reminding her that we all have our own servings and if we eat out usually we share meals (I had gastric sleeve surgery so I cannot eat much and have lost weight) Things at home have been challenging since her last TIA but her napkin/tissue habit is tiresome and not healthy. Im at a loss of any solution. I havent had any tissue related nightmares so that's a plus!

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My Mom, a habit for years, put tissues in her pockets and sleeves all the time. I gave her a trash can and told her once she used a tissue throw out. Worked most of the time but like said, I missed that one tissue. She would say the dryer would get it. I said a tissue could burnout my dryer. I think your Mom is ready for a nursing home. An AL is not equipped to clean up after someone all day long.
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This may seem too obvious, but have you tried to get her to use poise pads? They range from very thin to overnight and would surely be more comfortable (and effective) than paper towels or napkins.
As for the bed, get a nice waterproof mattress cover, the kind they try to sell you when you buy a new mattress. And they make chair covers for incontinence too, tell her they are just to keep the furniture nice for company.
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OMG I washed Kleenexs again today.. mom stuffs her bathrobe pockets with them! And we both check for them,, I guess I missed some. Could you try putting the bed pads UNDER the sheet? You will still have lots of sheets to wash, but the mattress will be in less smelly shape!
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I hadn't heard of napkins, but I've seen plenty of Kleenex pocketers. I think older folks have more actively flowing nasal discharge and keep those Kleenex handy for their runny noses. I saw a number of women in rehab facilities with Kleenex either in their hands or pockets.

Hadn't heard of Viva napkins though.
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Thank you for the quick response and have been keeping a diary for us both including her symptoms (new or existing) to show her dr. Everytime I tell my own mom (her mom im caring for) my concerns I get the "oh it will only get worse" haha well gee thanks. So trying to get my grandma better care is gonna be hard for my family whose so "family oriented". Since I do live with her it's going to be me who cares for her. The next dr visit I'm going to ask if she can recommend facilities. She is a wonderful dr and is mine as well. It's been hard on me to keep this up especially since I had started caring for family at a young age. Pulling away for my own sanity is one inner battle of guilt I need to overcome.
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The paper towel or Kleenex thing will drive a caregiver crazy. My mother wraps her legs and toes in toilet paper and it is all over the house. She also stuffs her pajama pockets and sometimes her socks with it, so I have to inspect the laundry if I do it. And I have to clean the lint filter when she does laundry. I worry about dryer fires. The only way I keep my sanity is to pull back like I'm a professional who is not emotionally involved.

My mother has what seems to be mainly vascular dementia (VaD). Since your gma has CHF and TIA's, I imagine you are looking at the same thing. Sometimes I wonder if there is something about VaD that gives people a particular stubborn streak. If your gma is anything like my mother, she will insist on keeping control. There's not much I can do with my mother except clean behind her and try to keep emotions out of it. Mila, I wish you could have a better life for yourself, but I know leaving things behind is easier said than done. I know there are many people on the group who understand what you're going through, so feel free to vent here.
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Move grandma to assisted living, I think it is time. She needs to wear adult diapers and she needs 24/7 supervision to be safe. You need to live your own life. Uncle can move to a group home and he will thrive there.
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